Miranda Writes

Finally...I've been right about SOMETHING!!!!!

2012-02-08T18:19:00.002-05:00

Hey Everybody!

Check out what I read yesterday. I think it makes tons of sense. Let me know what u think and how this will change the way u live your life...or not? Either way, I want to hear from u.

In Christ,

Omar
____________________________

Downloaded on 2/7/12 from http://teens.webmd.com/news/20120203/can-too-much-texting-make-youth-shallow

Too Much Texting Make Teens Shallow?

Study: Young People Who Text Frequently Focus on Wealth, Image; Less on Moral, Spiritual Goals

By Kathleen Doheny

WebMD Health News

Reviewed by Laura J. Martin, MD

Feb. 3, 2012 -- Teens and young adults who text frequently -- such as more than 300 text messages a day -- may be risking more than sore thumbs, according to a new study.

"Heavy texters do seem to be a little more materialistic and less concerned about inward growth," says Paul Trapnell, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Winnipeg in Canada.

The frequent texting, he says, is ''weakly correlated with traits, goals, and attitudes that indicate low interest and engagement in reflective thought." Those who texted very frequently were also more concerned about wealth and image than those who did not text as often.

He conducted the study with Lisa Sinclair, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Winnipeg. She presented the findings in San Diego at the 13th Annual Meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology.

"One can't say it's cause and effect," Trapnell tells WebMD. "There could be a hundred different reasons why these associations exist."

"Although the overall size of the finding is small in absolute terms, the finding was very reliable across several years," he tells WebMD. So far, they have looked at five years of data.

Too Much Texting: Study Details
The researchers surveyed more than 2,200 college psychology class students about their texting frequency. They were ages 18 to 22. Data were collected from 2007 through 2011.

Cell phone texting has become the preferred communication method between teens and friends, according to a 2010 report by the Pew Research Center. It found that 72% of all teens surveyed use text messaging. That's up from 51% in 2006.

For the Canadian study, the students noted how many text messages they sent or received (whichever number was higher) on their highest-use day of the month. They reported only non-work-related texts.

About 30% of the students had a peak rate of more than 200 texts a day. Twelve percent had a peak rate of more than 300 a day.

The researchers then gave them a battery of tests. These included:
• A standard personality test to measure such traits as extroversion and openness to experiences.
• A questionnaire that measures tendencies to engage in reflection and self-reflection: The students agreed or disagreed with such statements as, "I often love to look at my life in philosophical ways."
• A survey that asked students to rate the importance of numerous life goals: Goals included wealth, fame, image, power, achievement, morality, community, family, health, spirituality, and others.

The researchers looked to see if texting frequency had an effect on the test results.
They wanted to test the so-called ''shallowing hypothesis," as described in the Nicholas Carr best seller, The Shallows, and by scientists. It suggests that very brief media social interaction such as texting encourages rapid, relatively shallow thought.

"Those who texted more than 100 a day were 30% less likely to feel strongly that leading an ethical, principled life was important to them," Trapnell tells WebMD. "This was in comparison to those who texted 50 or less a day."

Those who texted frequently also tended to be less reflective than those who texted less often.

The researchers cannot pinpoint a number at which the differences kick in. They found ''a general linear trend." The higher the number of texts, the greater the effect.
They looked to see if being from a higher-income home might explain the effects of placing more importance on wealth. It did not, Trapnell says.

The study has limitations, he says. For instance, naturally reflective youth may just not be into texting. They are continuing the research.

Meanwhile, Trapnell has a suggestion for those with high texting frequency: "It might be a great idea if they spent more quiet time."

The study was partially funded by the federal Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council of Canada.

Frequent Texting and Shallowness: Perspective
The new research ties in to similar research by Mary Helen Immordino-Yang, EdD, assistant professor of psychology, education, and neuroscience at the University of Southern California. She reviewed the new findings but was not involved in the study.
In recent years, she says, scientists have focused on the brain's ''default'' mode. That refers to what the brain does when it is quiet and rested. When the brain is in this mode, she and other experts believe, it provides valuable time to reflect on life and situations. They think that downtime is important.

Distractions such as frequent texting can hamper it, she says.

"If you are habitually pulled into the outside world by distracting media, you may be systematically undermining opportunities to reflect about the moral, social, emotional, and longer-term implications of a situation," she says.

It is possible, she says, that those who text frequently are so distracted from this reflection that ''they get in the habit of thinking about things in a shallow way."

Her advice to parents of younger children who have not yet begun to text? "For healthy development, I think it is essential that we encourage our kids to have free time in which there are no distractions from TV, media, texting, you name it,'' she says.

This downtime allows kids that crucial time to reflect, she says.

These findings were presented at a medical conference. They should be considered preliminary as they have not yet undergone the "peer review" process, in which outside experts scrutinize the data prior to publication in a medical journal.

Surprise Pregnancy?!

2012-01-25T17:41:00.002-05:00

Hello All:

It's been awhile since I've written on my blog. I've been writing a lot on my column "Miranda Writes" at insightmagazine.org

Anyhow, I wanted to begin posting on my blog weekly.

I read this article last week and I wanted to hear from others about what they thought the real reason why so many of our teens are getting pregnant.

As a counselor, my contention is that ultimately the reason so many teens are getting pregnant is that they're looking for love in all the wrong places.

Read the article and let me know what you think.

Blessings,

Omar

Downloaded on 1/24/12 from http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/cdc-study-many-teen-moms-didnt-think-they-could-get-pregnant-didnt-use-birth-control/2012/01/19/gIQA9P6zAQ_story.html

CDC study: Many teen moms didn’t think they could get pregnant, didn’t use birth control

By Associated Press, Published: January 19

ATLANTA — A new government study suggests a lot of teenage girls are clueless about their chances of getting pregnant.

In a survey of thousands of teenage mothers who had unintended pregnancies, about a third who didn’t use birth control said the reason was they didn’t believe they could pregnant.

Why they thought that isn’t clear. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey didn’t ask teens to explain.

But other researchers have talked to teen moms who believed they couldn’t get pregnant the first time they had sex, didn’t think they could get pregnant at that time of the month or thought they were sterile.

“This report underscores how much misperception, ambivalence and magical thinking put teens at risk for unintended pregnancy,” said Bill Albert, a spokesman for the Washington, D.C.-based National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
Other studies have asked teens about their contraception use and beliefs about pregnancy. But the CDC report released Thursday is the first to focus on teens who didn’t want to get pregnant but did.

The researchers interviewed nearly 5,000 teenage girls in 19 states who gave birth after unplanned pregnancies in 2004 through 2008. The survey was done through mailed questionnaires with telephone follow-up.

About half of the girls in the survey said they were not using any birth control when they got pregnant. That’s higher than surveys of teens in general, which have found that fewer than 20 percent said they didn’t use contraception the last time they had sex.

“I think what surprised us was the extent to which they were not using contraception,” said Lorrie Gavin, a CDC senior scientist who co-authored the report.
Some of the teen moms were asked what kind of birth control they used: Nearly 20 percent said they used the pill or a birth control patch. Another 24 percent said they used condoms.

CDC officials said they do not believe that the pill, condoms and other forms of birth control were faulty. Instead, they think the teens failed to use it correctly or consistently.

Only 13 percent of those not using contraception said they didn’t because they had trouble getting it.

Another finding: Nearly a quarter of the teen moms who did not use contraception said they didn’t because their partner did not want them to. That suggests that sex education must include not only information about anatomy and birth control, but also about how to deal with situations in which a girl feels pressured to do something she doesn’t want to, Albert said.

The findings are sobering, he added. But it’s important to remember that the overall teen birth rate has been falling for some time, and recently hit its lowest mark in about 70 years.

Albert said it would be a mistake to come away from the report saying, “They can’t figure this out?” ‘’Most of them are figuring it out,” he said.
___
Online:
CDC report: http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr

Copyright 2012 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

New Low in Human Narcissism

2010-12-07T21:56:00.001-05:00

Hey Everybody:

Check out the article that I just read a second ago. This is serious! Some guy actually did this!

Here's the article: http://my.earthlink.net/article/str?guid=20101206/06869a81-8dac-46b6-b3c7-c1241403cede

Write back and let me know what you think.

--Omar

What Are They Thinking ?!

2010-12-06T09:55:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody:

I just read a great new article about new research on the teen brain. Take a look:

http://www.parade.com/news/2010/11/28-inside-the-teenage-brain.html

Blessings,

Omar

HA! I knew it!!!

2010-09-23T10:55:00.003-04:00

Hello All:

Check out this article that I just read!

Downloaded on 09/23/10 from http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39038581/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/

Facebook use can lower grades by 20 percent, study says
Study finds university students distracted by social networking site

By Suzanne Choney
msnbc.com

updated 9/7/2010 6:26:19 PM ET

Does the "F" in Facebook stand for an "F" in school? A new study says that college students who are on Facebook while studying or doing homework wind up getting 20 percent lower grades than students who don't have the social networking site in visual range, or even running in the background on their computers or mobile phones.
The study, reported in the Daily Mail of Britain, was done by Netherlands psychologist Paul A. Kirschnera of the Centre for Learning Sciences and Technologies at the Open University of the Netherlands, and Aryn C. Karpinskib of Ohio State University. It will be published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior.
Kirschnera told the Daily Mail that his team studied 219 U.S. university students between ages 19 and 54, and found that Facebook users had a typical grade point average of 3.06, while "non-users" had an average GPA of 3.82.

The psychologist said the study wasn't about whether Facebook's good or bad, but goes more to the stereotype that younger people are fluid multi-taskers —sending text message, listening to music, reading a book, all at the same time, for example —without any problems. (Driving and texting at the same time is, of course, being the among the most dangerous multi-tasking activities anyone can do.)

"The problem is that most people have Facebook or other social networking sites, their e-mails and maybe instant messaging constantly running in the background while they are carrying out other tasks," Kirschnera told the newspaper.

"Our study, and other previous work, suggests that while people may think constant task-switching allows them to get more done in less time, the reality is it extends the amount of time needed to carry out tasks and leads to more mistakes.

"We should resist the fashionable views of educational gurus that children can multi-task, and that we should adapt our education systems accordingly to keep up with the times."

Among the comments to the story was this one, from "I'moverhere" in Britain: "Believe me, if it isn't Facebook, it's something else. There's always something ready to distract a bored mind. While you're at it why not do a similar survey relating to consoles, television, texting, radio, football practice and staring into space?

"Having said that, Facebook does take up a lot of time due to society's increasing dependence on computers for education. Even in 2004 when I was doing A levels, I would get information from a book rather than Wikipedia. This instant-satisfaction-minimum-effort society has a lot to answer for."

Tween & Teen Reading Material Negatively Affecting Development of Teens

2010-09-10T11:50:00.002-04:00

Once again, this is a "DUH" moment! Anybody with any type of electrical impulse in their brains could have predicted that reading this type of material is bad for tweens & teens. There are two things that I want to say:

1. Adolescent's brains are still developing and parents, guardians, teachers, youth pastors, youthworkers and anybody else that works with teens should be aware of this very important fact.

2. This point is compliments of my parents--I'm sure you've heard it as well. Here it is: "Garbage in, garbage out!"

There is NOTHING POSITIVE OR REDEEMING ABOUT READING The Twilight or Harry Potter books. They are not good literature. They are Occultism (Satanic Worship), Wicca and Witchcraft all wrapped up in a pretty, but deceptive package.

If you are a parent or know a teen-or adult who's reading these types of books and that teen insists on reading these types of DANGEROUS MATERIALS that could open the door to Satanic and demonic influences and practices in their lives, then you should not only remove all of those materials, but then sit them down and talk with them about the dangers of what they're getting into.

I'm a firm believer in letting teens make as many decisions about their lives as possible, but you wouldn't let them dive off a diving board into a pool with no water would you?! This stuff is just plain dangerous to their spiritual lives...and now, we have proof that this stuff is just as dangerous and damaging to their emotional lives and well-being!

I hope you'll make the right decision.

Downloaded on 9/10/10 from http://voices.washingtonpost.com/answer-sheet/literature/experts-probe-how-twilight-and.html

How 'Twilight,' other dark fiction affect teen brains

Scientists, authors and education experts are meeting this weekend at Cambridge University to investigate how the teenage brain is affected or altered by reading the "Twilight" saga, the "Harry Potter" series and other books that invite fear and anxious emotional responses.

Edward Cullen altering the teen brain? This is one education conference that I would have enjoyed attending. (I have two teenage daughters.)

It turns out, according to the organizer of the interdisciplinary conference, called "The Emergent Adult -- Adolescent Literature and Culture,” that fiction with dark themes does indeed alter teen brains in sometimes important ways.

The conference is bringing together scientists, authors and education experts to make connections between recent neuroscience research and the representation of the adolescent in literature, film, computer games and social networking sites.

Participants are looking at the physiological, psychological, chemical and sociological effects of reading teenage fiction, said organizer Maria Nikolajeva, who is the first director of the Cambridge/Homerton Research and Training Center for Children’s Literature, which is dedicated to studying children’s media.

The trend for darkness and dystopia in children’s literature reflects concerns in the wider, adult world, Nikolajeva said. A hundred years ago, books for kids were dominated with stories about boys having adventures and girls finding husbands; then, from the 1950s to the 1970s, the themes were emerging sexuality and parental conflict.

Inside the teenage brain, synapses are breaking and reforming, and the chemistry keeps changing. Teenagers can’t make decisions in the same way adults can, Nikolajeva said, and she noted that authors, filmmakers and game developers have a moral obligation to make sure that their works contain some positive ethic.
To find out more, including about what parents should do, I e-mailed Nikolajeva. Here’s the discussion, and if you have further questions you’d like me to ask, please send them to me at theanswersheet@washpost.com.

Q. Let me start by asking you this: Are kids’ brains really changed after they read the "Twilight" saga or "Harry Potter"? What does change mean, anyway, in this context?

A. We have always known that encounters with art and literature affect our senses. We feel joy, sorrow, fear, anxiety, grief. We empathize with the characters. We learn from them about ourselves and about other people. What we know today from neuroscience is that there are spots in the brain that are responsible for these feelings, that it is possible to identify parts of the brain affected by reading or watching a film. Adolescent brain goes through a significant and rapid change; everything that affects it leaves deep imprints. Very dark fiction creates and amplifies a sense of insecurity, which is typical of adolescence; but it can also be a liberation, when readers "share" their personal experience with that of fictional characters. So yes, all readers’ brains are changed after they have read a book, but teenage brains are especially perceptive and therefore vulnerable.

What kind of "deep imprints"? Does deep mean lasting?
Yes, both lasting and delving deeply into the mind.

About the notion of vulnerability: Is there a possibility that an exclusive diet of such material could negatively affect some teens?

Definitely. Here comes the question of responsibility. Writers who address young audience should, in an ideal world, be very careful about what they say. Exactly because teenage brains lack the ability to make judgments. In plain words, they may get wrong ideas. Not because they are stupid, but because their brains are wired like that. Because they are socially and emotionally unstable. The so-called social brain is under development during adolescence. Small children presumably do and believe what they are told to. Adolescents start to think for themselves, they interrogate, they doubt.

What does modern brain research tell us about the differences between adult and kids brains when it comes to reading?

So far it is all basic emotions: joy, sorrow, fear. But teenage readers can get extremely engaged with what they read, for instance, "fall in love" with fictional characters. Once again, not because they are stupid, but because there is so much going on in the brain (synapses that get pruned, other connections made, etc.) that it gets confusing, as if you were watching 10 movies at the same time. By the way, teenagers do -- perhaps not watch 10 movies, but listen to music, chat, blog, watch, read, all at the same time. With adults, it gets much more quiet. As adults we can take distance from what we read or see. For teenagers, it’s all real and close.

What is the best research telling us about how kids read on screens vs. paper?
There are several papers at the conference addressing this question, and different opinions. Some say it does not matter whether we read linear texts (traditional, printed texts) or non-linear, printed or visual or multimedia. Some are worried that traditional reading skills disappear. The best research is just about starting [to investigate] these issues. They are sensitive because they deal with traditional educational values.

Serious research should be free from moral panic. There is a lot to be studied, not least through neuroscience. What we do know is that young people whose mother tongue is not English get considerably better skills in English because of social media. They simply need to be able to read and write. This may be true of English-language kids, too.

How is the conference being organized? Tell me a little about the focus of different sessions.

The idea of the conference is to have an active scholarly discussion, so papers have been circulated in advance, and the sessions will be working sessions with discussants, and with panelists commenting on each other’s papers. The main point is to mix disciplines, so a literary scholar, a psychologist and a sociologist may meet within the same session (rather than putting all psychology papers in the same session). There are papers about real adolescents and fictional adolescents and virtual adolescents (e.g. blogs). And a variety of topical issues, such as identity, sexuality, social engagement, gender. And also art, music, media and popular culture.
It is also a mix of established and beginning scholars, and good international mix -- 20 countries. The main goal, for me, is to make connections. It all started when a sociology colleague at the faculty said to me: "And what do you know about adolescents?" So I decided we needed to talk to each other across disciplines and share what we know.

The idea that kids fall in love with fictional characters is so true. I’ve seen it happen. But what is the danger there? Can this affect their view of reality in a negative way?

Yes, because fictitious characters are not like real people; usually -- not always -- they are less complex, more predictable, their behavior may be driven by the plot rather than by psychological motivation, and it can be very confusing for young people. Especially in popular culture where all girls are beautiful and all men strong and handsome. Literature and art are not direct images of reality, and you need to be a mature reader/viewer to understand the fictional reality. A young girl who falls in love with a literary character may get problems with social relationships in real life.

Please talk a little bit about the trend in young people’s literature.
Well, this would take a couple of hours. YA fiction is about the marginal situation between childhood and adulthood. Childhood is over, but it was secure and somewhat straightforward. Adulthood is enticing, but uncertain and strange. The body changes unpredictably. The mind is out of control. Nothing is stable. There are rules to break and boundaries to test.

Relationship with parents or parental figures is crucial. But the thing is that, with few exceptions, YA novels are written by adults. So they are in fact not about what is it to be an adolescent, but what it should be, since, perhaps unconsciously, adults want to instruct young people and guide them into adulthood. So images of adolescence in YA fiction are images of what adults want teenagers to believe. It’s a very powerful ideological tool.

YA novels have successively explored various issues of adolescence, starting with sexuality in the 1960s and then death, suicide, sexual identity, anorexia, etc. Today the most prominent trend is dystopia, possibly because the world is what it is today, but also because placing an adolescent in an extreme situation is a good pedagogical and narrative device. "Hunger Games" is a very good example. But YA fiction has always been more dark and bleak than literature for younger children.

What can/should parents do in regard to letting kids read dark material?
Nothing. Kids will always find ways of accessing materials that the adults want to hide from them, and with Internet there is no control over what they can get hold of. So it is important to let young people be exposed to all kinds of literature and culture, dark and light, serious and entertaining; and it is always a good idea to talk to kids about what they read, watch or listen to. Many grown-ups today read the same books that teenagers read: "Harry Potter," "His Dark Materials," "Twilight" and much more -- the so-called crossover literature. Then parents/teachers and kids can talk to each other, share their reading experience. This is the best one can do.
The worst one can do is to forbid or restrict.

2010-08-25T18:07:00.003-04:00

Why Don't You Just Grow Up Already?

I remember hearing that from my mom and dad all the time when I was growing up...it was usually said to me when I was acting selfish and immature. But I just viewed this very interesting piece from the Today show and I wanted to share it with you because I think that this whole idea of an extended "adolescence" really has a lot to do with the way individuals are as spouses, parents and generally society. We've been sold the lie from the hedonistic worldview that says that "it's all about me" and "I deserve to be happy--at any cost!" But what's happening is that people are searching to have all the fun and self-fulfulling experiences in the world that they are putting off growing up, getting into serious relationships, getting married, having children...and even when they do those things, they still repeat their mantra, like spoiled brat Peter Pans "I'm never growing up! I want to stay a boy in Never Land..." but little do they know, like it or not, that time is always chasing them and will always catch up.

Well, enough of my pontificating. Take a look at this link and tell me what you think:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/38829873#38829873

Blessings,

Omar

New Research on How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality!

2010-07-28T14:30:00.004-04:00

Hello All:

I am forwarding this story to you because I think it's one of the most important I've seen in a while!

I find it interesting that this story was on cnn.com of all places. There is no mention of God, religion or spirituality, but oh, what a surprise that the scientific research is now becoming so overwhelming on the damage of pornography, that even the liberal media and the pornographers THEMSELVES are surprised, astounded and shocked by the findings that even they can't believe it.

Take a look. Here's the link: http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2010/07/28/am.intv.dines.pornland.cnn?hpt=C2

Also, take a look at more information & full transcript of 7/28/10 Interview with Author: Gail Dines.

Here's the link: http://newsbusters.org/node/40415/print

Please forward this along to whomever you feel would benefit from this information. It's important that we all take responsibility in getting the word out and educating our kids, teens, parents and our society at large.

What we're seeing is a radical shift and perversion from what God intended Biblical sex and sexuality to be. If you're not sure, take a read at Kay Arthur's wonderful and expansive Biblically based book on the subject called "Sex According to God." The book has been updated and is called "The Truth About Sex: What the World Won't Tell You and God Wants You to Know" Here's the amazon.com link: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-According-God-Kay-Arthur/dp/1578566398

Until next time.

Blessings,

Omar

WHAT?!!!

2010-06-24T20:14:00.001-04:00

I just read this story. Take a look and tell me what you think!

Here it is:

Adults Text While Driving More Than Teens

Almost half of all texting adults text while driving according survey findings that indicate only a third of texting teens sent or read a text message while behind the wheel.

By Antone Gonsalves, InformationWeek
June 21, 2010
URL: http://www.informationweek.com/story/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=225700686

Adults are more likely than teenagers to text while driving, a practice that greatly increases motorists' chances of getting into an accident, a study shows.

Nearly half of all texting adults say they have sent or read a text message on their mobile phone while driving, compared to one in three texting teens ages 16 and 17, the Pew Internet & American Life Project found in a survey released Friday. Overall, Pew found that 27% of all U.S. adults say they have sent or read text messages behind the wheel.

Pew also found that 49% of adults say they have been passengers in a car when a driver was sending or reading text messages. Overall, 44% of adults say they have been passengers of drivers who have used a mobile phone in a way that put themselves or others in danger. The numbers were about equal to those of teens.

Besides motorists, pedestrians can also get into trouble while texting. The study found that one in six cell phone-toting adults have physically bumped into another person or an object while talking or texting on their phone.

Beyond texting, adults were also more likely to talk on a cell phone while driving than teens. Three in four cell phone-owning adults say they have talked on a phone while driving, compared to a little more than half of phone-owning teens.

The findings for adults 18 or older are based on a nationwide phone survey of 2,252 people between April 29 and May 30. The numbers associated with teens 16 and 17 were taken from a separate study Pew conducted in 2009.

A study conducted last year by the University of Utah found that texting while driving can be up to six times more dangerous than talking on a cell phone while driving. Researchers found that texting was more dangerous because it requires drivers to switch their attention from one task to another.

By contrast, motorists just talking on a mobile phone attempt to divide their attention between a conversation and driving, adjusting priorities of the two activities depending on the task demands, researchers said.

Nevertheless, safety advocates have condemned both practices, and many states have laws banning both.

2010-06-07T16:07:00.002-04:00

Hello All:

I just read this. Take a read and let me know if you agree or disagree?

Downloaded from http://www.businessweek.com/news/2010-06-02/teen-boys-fear-of-impregnating-girls-drops-cdc-says-update1-.html on June 7, 2010.

Business Week with Bloomberg

"Teen Boys’ Fear of Impregnating Girls Drops, CDC Says"
(Update1)June 02, 2010, 12:24 PM EDT

By Ellen Gibson

June 2 (Bloomberg) -- Teenage boys are becoming less worried about getting a girl pregnant, with a quarter saying they would be pleased if it happened.

A higher percentage of boys ages 15 to 19 also agreed that it’s acceptable for unmarried girls to have babies, according to a report released today by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that compared teens’ attitudes toward sex in 2006 to 2008 to those in a survey six years earlier. The report also showed an increase in the number of teens using the unreliable “rhythm method,” which leads a quarter of users to get pregnant within a year.

The boys’ attitudes and the increased use of risky ways to avoid pregnancies contrast with the trend observed between 1988 and 2002, when the researchers saw a steady decline in so-called “sexual risk behaviors,” the report said. Overall, the number of teens having sex and their use of contraceptives was unchanged from the earlier survey, according to the data.

“Anytime you see a loss of momentum compared to the straightforward improvements of the past, you think that efforts to motivate teens to use contraception need to be redoubled,” said Joyce Abma, a social scientist at the CDC’s National Center for Health Statistics and the paper’s lead author. “On the other hand, there could be a point at which you’ve reached a lot of teens and the ones left are the hardest to reach.”

National Survey
The data in the report, known as the National Survey of Family Growth, was collected through in-person interviews with 2,767 teenagers ages 15 to 19. The survey is taken every six to seven years.

Among never-married females, 42 percent reported having sex at least once. The proportion of males in that age group who have had sex was 43 percent. Among those who abstained, the most common reason they cited was that sex was “against religion or morals.”

The number of boys who chose “don’t want to get female pregnant” as the reason for avoiding sex fell by half to 12 percent from the last survey. Childbearing outside of marriage was acceptable to 64 percent of males in the current survey, up 14 percentage points from 2002, the Atlanta-based agency said.

Those attitudes show boys are less worried about an unwanted pregnancy, Abma said in a telephone interview.

‘Hair-Raising’
“This ambivalence is one of the most hair-raising headlines from this report,” said Bill Albert, chief program officer for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, a Washington-based advocacy group. “It explains why 3 in 10 girls in the U.S. become pregnant by age 20.”

The current study did show a handful of improvements in teens’ sex behavior since 2002. The use of more than one form of birth control -- in most cases, the condom and the pill -- increased 73 percent. Females also experimented with a wider variety of contraceptive methods: 11 percent said they’d tried patches such as Johnson & Johnson’s Ortho Evra, while 7 percent had used vaginal rings such as Merck & Co.’s NuvaRing.

In addition, the percentage of unmarried males who reported using a condom during their first sexual experience rose to 82 percent in the latest study from 71 percent in 2002. The higher use may have more to do with increased awareness of sexually- transmitted diseases than pregnancy prevention, the CDC said.

--Editors: Bruce Rule, Lisa Rapaport
____________________________________-

What is up?! When I was a kid, my father threatened me with certain death..."Son, if you get a girl pregnant, I'll break your legs and then I'll kill you!" I knew that Dad was absolutely serious...but I guess that's the problem these days: there are no fathers, or any males telling our younger males to shape up and how to live a Godly life. There's something to be said for having a healthy fear of your father. :-)

The Bible says in Titus 2:2, 6 "2Tell the older men to have self-control and to be serious and sensible. Their faith, love, and patience must never fail." And verse 6 is the clincher " 6Tell the young men to have self-control in everything." We as Godly men and Godly younger men--yes that means you too teenager--should be finding somebody younger than you either in physical or spiritual age to teach and to pass on the life lessons that you've learned about holiness.

So today, if you are a male--or a female (read Titus chapter 2) and you're a Christian, you've got a simple command from God. Teach those who are younger, because if you don't then--well, just tune in to any news story and see the consequences of lack of teaching/mentoring.

Until next time, have a great day, stay close to God, keep each other accountable and remember: God loved you too much to keep you the way you were.

--Omar

2010-05-13T10:42:00.001-04:00

WHY WAIT?!

Hello All!

I just came across this wonderful information that speaker and author Josh McDowell presented recently. Take a listen; I know that you'll be as impressed as me!

Here's the link: http://www.heartlightministries.org/blogs/pttradio/2010/05/13/datingwhy-wait-5132010/

In Christ,

Omar
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

2010-05-13T07:51:00.002-04:00

SHOCKER: TEENS WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH THEIR PARENTS!!!

Hey Everybody,

It's certainly been a long time since I posted, but I'm going to begin posting regularly again. I'd absolutely love to hear from you all.

From time to time, I will not only be blogging, but will also be posting stuff that I find not only interesting, but thought-provoking and character stretching...we all need some of that.

Anyhow, here's the latest I've found. Check it out and write me back. I'd love to hear from you.

http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2010/488_may5/thisweek/100505_time.shtml

In Christ,

Omar Miranda
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

2009-08-15T16:03:00.003-04:00

Hey Everybody,

Check out what I just read that blew me away!!!

I'll discuss this in more detail tomorrow!!!

Downloaded on 8/15/09 from:
http://www.examiner.com/x-1022-Orlando-Parenting-Examiner~y2009m8d13-Sex-and-porn-make-top-10-of-kids-online-searches

August 13, 2009

Sex & Porn Make Top 10 of Kid's Online Searches

Two recent studies reveal what kids are really up to when they are using the family computer.
Out of 3.5 million searches tracked for users of Symantec’s OnlineFamily.Norton software, kids have been surfing the ‘Net for “Facebook” and “MySpace” almost as much as the keywords “sex” and “porn.”

The OnlineFamily.Norton service lets parents monitor their children’s Web activities and notifies parents if something looks questionable. Families can create a profile in their OnlineFamily.Norton account for each child and the Norton Safety Minder will monitor their use and report back to the online family website.According to the OnlineFamily.Norton Web site, “In order to be included in the list of kids’ top search terms, a search term had to have been submitted at least 50 times by registered users of OnlineFamily.Norton.” The top 100 searches includes many popular social networking sites and search engines, in addition to movies, books, and entertainers that are popular in the preteen/teen universe, such as Hannah Montana, Twilight, and Lady Gaga.The top 10 search list for OnlineFamily.Norton is as follows:
1. YouTube
2. Google
3. Facebook
4. Sex
5. MySpace
6. Porn
7. Yahoo
8. Michael Jackson
9. Fred (A popular fictional character whose YouTube channel has become a hit among kids.)
10. eBay

By the way, I checked out “Fred” on YouTube and realized that I had seen the character before on an episode of the Nickelodeon series iCarly (and I don’t know if that made me feel any better). In a related story, the Orlando Sentinel published a front page article yesterday about kids’ online habits and the disconnection between what they’re up to and what their parents think their up to.

According to Common Sense Media survey on teens and social media habits:
• 22% of teens check social networking sites more than 10 times a day, while only 4% of parents believe kids are checking that much
• 51% of teens check social networking sites more than once a day, while only 23% of parents say their kids check more than once a day
• 28% have shared personal information that they normally wouldn't have shared in public
• 25% have shared a profile with a false identity
• 39% have posted something they regretted

Both lists point to the rising importance of social networking sites amongst young people, but Generation X parents have been increasing their presence on Facebook, which might make kids think twice about the key words they search and the photos and personal information they post on the Internet.

Don't Believe Everything You Read!!!

2009-07-24T16:08:00.000-04:00

Hello All:

I just read this article. It was very thought-provoking. Take a read.

Here’s the link: http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/07/24/o.women.watching.porn/index.html

Warning to those with “virgin eyes” some of the language in this article is sexually explicit!

Although I found some of the statistical information and research findings that the author shared very interesting, I didn’t agree with the author’s thesis: that porn is fun to look at and as normal as sex/sexuality.

I find it interesting that the wildly liberal web-site “Oprah.com” is, in this article touting the supposed “positives” and “benefits” of viewing porn, but the same Oprah who stated that “porn is the U.S.’s #1 addiction” allowed her name to be used on this magazine that had no mention of how addictive and destructive it is to individuals, families, communities and our culture! Furthermore, this article went on to paint “conservative Christian organizations” in a negative light as backward, dated, out-of-touch, stick-in-the-mud prudes who are going around trying to make people feel guilty about something as “normal” as viewing pornography!

The author of this article goes on to make the assertion that if sex and sexuality is a normal biological impulse and feeling, then so is viewing pornography! This author’s logic—is not logical! This is akin to saying that anger is a normal feeling, so if I am angry at somebody and I feel like splitting their wig…then it’s absolutely o.k. for me to do it! The author is trying to push her own world view that says “if it feels good, do it!”

Read the article for yourself, think critically about not only what the author is saying, but what she isn’t saying and who she works for (she’s a porn reviewer for crying out loud)!

Anyhow, have a great weekend and remember: Think, think, think!!! Fight the man (I love saying that)!

Remember, stay connected to God and accountable to each other!!

Until next week!!!

--Omar
1 Cor. 6: 9-11
thriveatlife.org
770.354.2912

AH!!! Adolescence: The Age of Excessssssss

2009-07-19T20:35:00.002-04:00

Have you heard about the latest teen-related injury?! Here's a hint: it has to do with their fingers...I'm sure you can probably take a guess about what it entails.

Check out this crazy story that I just saw on cnn.com today. I promise: I'm not making this up!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2009/07/17/carpenter.teen.text.kdaf

Check it out and write me back. I'd love to hear what you have to say about this.

Connect with God every day, take care of you, be accountable to others!

--Omar

GREAT NEWS!!!!

2009-07-02T11:50:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to give you all a heads-up. Mark Laaser will be presenting a weekend of seminars at Andrews University on 7/17 - 7/19. Here’s the link to facebook: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/event.php?eid=106310083480&ref=mf

Also, here’s the general internet link: http://www.andrews.edu/familylife/

I promise. If you attend, you will receive a wonderful blessing!

Blessings,

Omar Miranda
770.354.2912
thriveatlife.org

DUH!!!

2009-05-24T11:53:00.002-04:00

Hello Everybody,

I just saw this on the internet. Take a look and tell me if you agree with my deep conclusion: DUH!!!

Downloaded on 5/24/09 from http://www.examiner.com/x-8543-SF-Health-News-Examiner~y2009m5d6-Adult-TV-for-kids-means-earlier-sex-as-teens

Adult TV for kids means earlier sex as teens

Children exposed to adult-themed movies and TV shows are likely to have sex earlier in their teenage years than their peers who were not similarly exposed, according to a new study by Children's Hospital Boston.The results of the study were presented recently at the annual meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies in Baltimore. The study followed 754 kids first in childhood and again five years later when they were aged 12 to 18. According to the data, earlier exposure to adult content correlated to the earlier sexual activity in the teenage years.Every hour of adult-targeted television or movies seen by the kids over two sample days when they were between 6 and 8 years old, correlated to a 33% increased risk of sexual activity in early adolescence.According to lead author Dr. Hernan Delgado, a fellow in the Division of Adolescent/Young Adult Medicine, TV and movies are major sources of information about about sex and relationships for adolescents. This study suggests that their "sexual attitudes and expectations are influenced much earlier in life," he says. Dr. Delgado's colleague, co-author David Bickham, staff scientist in the Center on Media and Child Health points out that adult themed programs often address mature, complex topics including sexual issues. Because they lack real world experience and because their brains are not yet developed, they cannot completely distinguish between a realistic portrayal and one embellished for entertainment purposes, Bickham says.According to this study, when kids are exposed to programs with sexual references and innuendos, are more likely to become sexually active earlier in life.

Losing Virginity is Now A Game...Literally!

2009-03-29T00:15:00.002-04:00

I downloaded this foolishness from cnn.com on 3/29/09. Take a look and let me know what you think. Here's the link:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/03/27/videogame.losing.virginity/index.html

I'm going to comment on this a little bit later, but I wanted to post this ASAP!!!

--Omar

Crazy Scary Information About the Evolution of Teens, Technology & Porn!

2009-03-25T22:25:00.002-04:00

Take a look at these links, these stories and stats are the latest in the evolution of teens, porn, and cell phones:

1. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2009/03/23/pn.teens.cell.porn.cnn?iref=videosearch

2. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/tech/2008/04/24/delacruz.cell.phone.porn.cnn?iref=videosearch

Write me back. I'd love to hear what you think about all this!!!

--Omar
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

Men Really Do See Women As Objects

2009-03-21T14:54:00.003-04:00

Men see bikini-clad women as objects, psychologists say

Downloaded on 2/22/09 from http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/02/19/women.bikinis.objects/index.html

**Just a personal note of warning when reading this article: The findings of the research conclusions are extremely interesting and very timely, but in my estimation, many of the conclusions and implications that the author of the study and even the author of this article have come up with are plainly based in the worldview of evolutionary biology.

More specifically: evolutionary biology believes that man evolved from single-celled organisms and continues to evolve and therefore, everything that man does can be explained in terms of the strengthening or the evolution of "the entire species." For example, they would explain away married individuals' extra-marital affairs as nothing more than a way for a man to spread his genetic material as widely and as broadly as he possibly can.

Remember: we as Christians need to be thinking about how EVERYTHING relates to our relationship with Christ! Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we checked our brains at the church doors! Anyhow, enjoy the article and let me know what you think.

By Elizabeth Landau
CHICAGO, Illinois (CNN) -- It may seem obvious that men perceive women in sexy bathing suits as objects, but now there's science to back it up.

New research shows that, in men, the brain areas associated with handling tools and the intention to perform actions light up when viewing images of women in bikinis.

The research was presented this week by Susan Fiske, professor of psychology at Princeton University, at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.
"This is just the first study which was focused on the idea that men of a certain age view sex as a highly desirable goal, and if you present them with a provocative woman, then that will tend to prime goal-related responses," she told CNN.

Although consistent with conventional wisdom, the way that men may depersonalize sexual images of women is not entirely something they control. In fact, it's a byproduct of human evolution, experts say. The first male humans had an incentive to seek fertile women as the means of spreading their genes.

"They're not fully conscious responses, and so people don't know the extent to which they're being influenced," Fiske said. "It's important to recognize the effects."

The participants, 21 heterosexual male undergraduates at Princeton, took questionnaires to determine whether they harbor "benevolent" sexism, which includes the belief that a woman's place is in the home, or hostile sexism, a more adversarial viewpoint which includes the belief that women attempt to dominate men.

In the men who scored highest on hostile sexism, the part of the brain associated with analyzing another person's thoughts, feelings and intentions was inactive while viewing scantily clad women, Fiske said.

Men also remember these women's bodies better than those of fully-clothed women, Fiske said. Each image was shown for only a fraction of a second.

This study looked specifically at men, and did not test women's responses to similar images.
A supplementary study on both male and female undergraduates found that men tend to associate bikini-clad women with first-person action verbs such as I "push," "handle" and "grab" instead of the third-person forms such as she "pushes," "handles" and "grabs." They associated fully clothed women, on the other hand, with the third-person forms, indicating these women were perceived as in control of their own actions. The females who took the test did not show this effect, Fiske said.

That goes along with the idea that the man looking at a woman in a bikini sees her as the object of action, Fiske said.

The findings are consistent with previous work in the field, and resonate, for example, with the abundance of female strip clubs in comparison to male strip clubs, said Dr. Charles Raison, psychiatrist and director of the Mind/Body Institute at Emory University in Atlanta, Georgia. Raison was not involved in the study.

Previous research found that people tend to similarly dehumanize those who are homeless or drug addicts, although the phenomenon in this case is somewhat different, Fiske said. People have reactions of avoidance toward the homeless and drug addicts, and the opposite for scantily clad women.

The broader purpose of the research was to explore circumstances under which people treat one another as the means to an end, Fiske said.

Past studies have also shown that when men view images of highly sexualized women, and then interact with a woman in a separate setting, they are more likely to have sexual words on their minds, she said. They are also more likely to remember the woman's physical appearance, and sit closer to her -- for instance, at a job interview.

Taken together, the research suggests that viewing certain images is not appropriate in the workplace, Fiske said.

"I'm not advocating censorship, but I do think people need to know what settings should discourage the display and possession of these kinds of things," she said.

Both women and men have something to learn from this line of research, Raison said. Women should be aware of how they are perceived when wearing provocative clothing, and men shouldn't let feelings of impersonal sexual longing interfere with their more personal relationships with other women, including female friends. "Many men make foolish choices because of sexual attraction," he said.

"The suggestion might be that there's some hard-wiring there that can interfere with the average man's ability to interact on deeper levels with really hot looking stranger women in bikinis," he said.

Women may also depersonalize men in certain situations, but published research on the subject has not been done, experts say. Evolutionary psychology would theorize that men view women as objects in terms of their youth and apparent fertility, while women might view men as instrumental in terms of their status and resources, Fiske said.

Another avenue to explore would be showing images of men's wives and girlfriends in bikinis, Raison said. He predicts the objectifying effect would not happen in this context.

An Eye For An Eye...Literally!

2009-03-21T14:20:00.008-04:00

Hey Everybody,

Take a look at this crazy story. It's almost a month old, but I thought that this was a really interesting view of a different culture...come to think of it, maybe it's not so different from our culture--even if we are Christians! Write me back and let me know what you think.

Eye for an eye: Iranian man sentenced to be blinded for acid attack

Downloaded on 2/22/09 from http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/nov/28/iran-acid-attack-sharia-law/print

A man who blinded a woman in an acid attack after she spurned his marriage proposals has been sentenced to the same punishment, in a literal application of Iran's sharia eye-for-an-eye laws.
In a highly unusual judgment, Tehran province criminal court ordered Majid Movahedi, 27, to be blinded in both eyes from drops of acid in response to a plea from his victim, Ameneh Bahrami.
The punishment is legal under the sharia code of qisas, which allows retribution for violent crimes. The court also ordered Movahedi to pay compensation to the victim.

Bahrami was left horrifically disfigured after Movahedi threw a jar of acid in her face as she walked home from work in a busy Tehran neighbourhood in October 2004. She had previously complained to police about being threatened and harassed by Movahedi, who she had known while they were both university students, but had been told no action could be taken.

Since the attack, Bahrami has undergone 17 operations, some by surgeons in Spain, in an unsuccessful attempt to reconstruct her face. Her injuries led to the loss of one eye and left her blind in the other. The Iranian government has paid £22,500 towards her treatment.

Testifying in Movahedi's presence, she told the court that she wanted "to inflict the same life on him that he inflicted on me". Asked by the judge if she wanted Movahedi's face to be splashed with acid, she replied: "That is impossible and horrific. Just drip 20 drops of acid in his eyes so he can realise what pain I am undergoing."

Bahrami, an electronics graduate who worked for a medical engineering company before the attack, said Movahedi's family had asked her to marry him several times, but she had refused. Movahedi later threatened to kill her, she said, after saying that he had built his dreams around her.

Moments before the attack, she sensed she was being followed and tried to get away. But Movahedi caught up with her and stepped in front of her, before throwing acid in her face, leaving her screaming in pain.

Movahedi said he decided to attack Bahrami after she told him she had married someone else, and pleaded with him to leave her alone.

"I decided to splash acid on her face so her husband would leave her and I could have her," he told the court. He said he had earlier contemplated suicide.

Asked if he would still be prepared to marry Bahrami despite her injuries, Movahedi replied: "Yes. I love her."

Isn't that a crazy story?! As Christians, how do we answer others that say c'mon man; you know that you'd do the exact same thing! And the honest truth is, if someone did something this horrendous to me or to my family...my first reaction would be to WANT to do the same thing back to them--actually, I'd want to pay it back DOUBLE!!! But guess what: the old "Omar" is dead! The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5: 17 "Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new."

Well, if God doesn't want me to respond to bad stuff that happens to me like I used to respond, then the question begs to be asked: How does God want me to respond? Well, our answer is found in...TA DA! The Bible! Let's take a look and see what God wants me to do when people and the world treat me like poo: Matthew 5: 38-42 (Contemporary English Version) "You know that you have been taught, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." But I [Jesus speaking] tell you not to try to get even with a person who has done something to you. When someone slaps your right cheek, turn and let that person slap your other cheek. If someone sues you for your shirt, give up your coat as well. If a soldier forces you to carry his pack one mile, carry it two miles. When people ask you for something, give it to them. When they want to borrow money, lend it to them." WHAT?!! I deal with a lot of teens and the #1 response to that verse would be: "Yeah right Omar, I ain't no punk!" You're right, you're not, you're a child of the most powerful being in the whole UNIVERSE!

I think it's time for one of my childhood stories...be patient, I know it looks like I'm digressing, but it'll make sense in a little bit. I grew up with two brothers and we used to fight a whole lot...A WHOLE LOT!!! Dad would always tell me--I assumed he also told my other brothers this as well--"son, when your brothers pick on you, don't fight back! Come and tell me. I'll take care of it. You're little, but I'm big and when I deal with it, I can promise you, they'll get what's coming to them! Remember, I know that whole story and I'll make sure that you're treated fairly." What's up! My Dad could drop the hammer like nobody I knew! What's the point I'm trying to make? When the world treats you like poo--heck, when people from your own family and your own church treat you like poo, don't try to get back at them. Let God deal with them, you and I are small, but He's BIG and when He deals with somebody or something, I can promise you, they'll get what's coming to them! We may not know the whole story, but I promise you: God knows what's up and He's got your back! HALLELUYAH! Let's see what the Bible says about this:

Romans 12: 18-19 "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

Being a Christian is not easy, but you and I can sleep well at night knowing that God will ultimately right any wrongs that have been done to us.

Until next time, remember: stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

--Omar
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

I'm Hideous!!!

2009-02-15T09:06:00.004-05:00

This morning I was changing the description on the web-site and updating my photo and it uploaded the what I will call the "larger than life" photo.

It's crazy b/c you can see my pores and the yellow stains on my teeth: an unfortunate consequence of the largeness of the photo.

Anyhow, I am working on trying to fix the photo to a normal size, so please be patient. I do not know what I am doing...and don't look too closely.

--Omar

Two Are Better Than One!

2009-02-10T15:20:00.000-05:00

“I’m peeping sore!” My daughter whined from the back of the car. My daugthter makes up her own words—oh to be 7 again! My wife chimed in and complained about her soreness. I readjusted the rearview mirror and checked on my son. He was dead asleep…you know the kind of sleep I’m talking about: the open mouth, drooling, eyes half-open, waking up confused where you are, kind of sleep. This weekend was very momentous because I couldn’t remember the last time when I was so sore, it even hurt me to think!

We had just completed an afternoon hike at a place called “Johns Mountain near Sugar Valley, GA.” The place was absolutely beautiful and started out flat, but that quickly changed. I remember the conversation we had about this a week before. My wife sang the praises of the hike “Oh it’ll be good for us; all the fresh air and nature.” “I’m cool with fresh air and nature, but I don’t do well with inclines” I responded. The rest is history. My wife alleges that she carefully “researched” this place to make sure that I would not have a medical emergency while exercising…boy was she wrong. Just an aside: is it possible for internal organs to explode?

Anyhow, I had to worry about falling off the edge of the trail because it was actually on the side of a mountain! We weren’t just hiking around the mountain; we WERE hiking the mountain!! At one point, I actually considered laying down and “resting” and letting the emergency helicopter and the specially trained wilderness rescuers come and get me, but there wouldn’t have been any room on the “billy goat trail” or BGT as I shall now call it. I’m serious! That trail was so narrow in places, you had to hop on one foot just to get through it.

It was crazy that I went on the trail, but then I had my two-and-a-half year old son with me! He wanted to run!! That’s right, run up the trail and I had to hold onto him. Many times he was so energetic that he almost fell off the side of the trail…and down the mountain! There were also many times that I kept him from slipping and/or tripping on a rock and splitting his wig. There were also times that my wife would help me by encouraging me and pushing me along…usually this was less in the form of an actual physical push and more through a medium that she has perfected: the verbal putdown or as I—and our Marriage Counselor--call it: verbal abuse! O.k., o.k., I’m just kidding…we really don’t have a Marriage Counselor. But I digress.

When the “hike” aka “Trail of Tears” finally finished and I had calmed my heart rate enough to where I could think coherently again (my wife disputes this statement and asserts that I have never thought coherently), but I am perfectly sane…I have the actual papers from the Psychiatrist stating that I am. Hey, don’t judge me! Everybody gets stressed to the point where they are taking commands from avocados and dryer lint! See what you did?! You made me get off the subject again! Pepito (my tasty avocado friend) wanted me to tell you “stop judging me.”

Anyhow, when I was able to think clearly again, you know after I was able to rehydrate with the E.R. I.V. fluids and all, I got to thinking about the importance of having somebody to go through this difficult life with. Somebody who could travel this crazy trail of tears we call life on earth. Somebody who could support you and hold your hand to keep you from tripping and falling off the side of the trail. God no doubt is there and supports us through all of our times. He supports us through his Holy Spirit that speaks to us through nature, our conscience, our time with Him reading & studying the Bible and praying. But there are also many times that he supports, guides and directs us through more direct means: through his people. That’s why it’s so important for we as Christians to connect with fellow believers. In fact the Bible says this:

“You are better off to have a friend than to be all alone, because then you will get more enjoyment out of what you earn. If you fall, your friend can help you up. But if you fall without having a friend nearby, you are really in trouble. If you sleep alone, you won't have anyone to keep you warm on a cold night. Someone might be able to beat up one of you, but not both of you. As the saying goes, "A rope made from three strands of cord is hard to break." Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

Interestingly enough, God makes it clear that to get through this life you need BOTH Him and others. None of us makes it through life by ourselves, with just God or with just others. Success only comes in the combination of you, me and G-O-D! So when you begin to feel sad, depressed, anxious or stressed. Take time to check yourself to make sure that you are not isolating yourself. If you are then connect both with God and with others. I promise, you may not be able to get off the mountain, but God and your Godly friends will make the hike a lot more manageable than if you were by yourself.

Until next week: Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Omar Miranda

Daddy, that Lady was Immodest!!

2009-02-03T09:14:00.000-05:00

Hello all. On Sunday night my family and I watched the Superbowl at a friend’s house. I spent all but the last 8 minutes sitting within earshot—but not eye-shot (I made that word up, but you get the idea). Read this article I read on cnn.com the Monday morning after the Superbowl and then I’ll come back and tell you five things:

1. why I sat where I sat
2. what I saw during the last 8 minutes
3. what my daughter said
4. how I reacted & how I felt
5. what I learned

Here’s the story:

Porn airs during Super Bowl

(CNN) -- Super Bowl fans in Tucson, Arizona, caught a different kind of show during Sunday's big game.

Just as Cardinals' superstar Larry Fitzgerald watched himself sprint into the end zone on the stadium's Jumbotron during Sunday's Super Bowl, 10 seconds of eye-popping pornographic imagery "flashed" across the screens of those watching at home.

"We are mortified by last evening's Super Bowl interruption, and deeply apologize to our customers for the inappropriate programming," Comcast Cable said in a written statement.
"Our initial investigation suggests this was an isolated malicious act," the statement added.
Comcast, and several local television stations that carried the signal, say they are currently investigating what caused the interruption.

"It appears this material was only viewed by some Comcast customers," local Tucson television station KVOA-TV said in a written statement.

Television station KVOA added "when the NBC feed of the Super Bowl was transmitted from KVOA to local cable providers and through over-the-air antennas, there was no pornographic material," KVOA President and General Manager Gary Nielsen said in a separate statement.

Downloaded from http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/02/super.bowl.porn/index.html

First of all, let me say that I am thankful that I didn’t see that filth! That’s the main reason I didn’t sit where I could see the t.v. The game sounded exciting, but I didn’t want to expose my sensitive eyes and brain to all those inappropriate sexualized images on the commercials. But as the game continued and I saw my wife’s apparent excitement mixed with tension, I began to miss her and wanted to sit with her—but she was in front of the t.v. So I thought to myself “you know, surely the majority of the commercials have already passed and now there will be nothing but boring regular commercials. I wrongly reasoned that the advertisers would want to put all their racy commercials during the beginning and middle of the game, so I gingerly got up and sat down beside my wife. Boy was I ever wrong!

At this point our 7-year-old daughter had come downstairs to be with the grown-ups, because as she said when asked why she came down “Daddy, it just sounded like all you old people were having a party!” Remember, she’s 7. Anyhow, here we all were. I was happy because I was holding my wife’s hand .. . and then it happened: there was a time-out and a commercial flashed on the screen. To make a long story short: it was a Go Daddy commercial and constituted several people questioning a female. All of the dialogue was inappropriate and full of double-entendres. Then near the very end of the commercial a woman stands up wearing something that was way too tight and way too low and makes a statement. If you watched the Superbowl, you no doubt know of which commercial I am referring to…by the way, the advertisers are hoping that you will remember, that’s the point.

Normally I would have looked away, closed my eyes and ears—or done something to keep that filth from entering my brain! But honestly, I was absolutely stunned! I was totally in shock! I sat there for what seemed like an eternity. But it was probably more like 5 seconds. I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach! I mean, I was speechless and to make matters worse, I just realized that my daughter was sitting at my feet and saw THE ENTIRE THING!!! As soon as the commercial finished and the game started again, she blurted out “Daddy, that lady’s immodest!” I totally over-reacted! I looked at my daughter with embarrassment and in frustration responded apologetically to all present “you’ll have to excuse my daughter” as I efficiently swished her out of the room.

I pulled her close to me and discussed with her the importance of being modest not just in what we wear, but in what we say and what we do. She nodded in agreement. We prayed that God would clean our brains of the images that we saw and heard and I hugged and kissed my daughter. I was proud of myself, because I had turned a negative incident into a positive teaching moment. Andy Griffith would have been proud! After we returned to the game, I sat there and thought and thought and thought about what had just happened. I was reeling! In the past several minutes, I had dealt with four distinct emotions: first shock, then embarrassment, then anger, then deep sadness. Let me explain.

I was first shocked by what I saw! I couldn’t believe that the networks would allow that sort of filthy language and images on the screen! I was then embarrassed not only that my daughter said what she said, but more importantly, I was embarrassed that she and I were the only ones that seemed fazed and surprised by what we experienced! The more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized that people weren’t bothered by that stuff because they’ve been conditioned to not even notice it anymore. They’ve been inoculated against it. I think it would be wise at this point for me to issue this disclaimer: I am a recovering sex/porn addict. I am extremely careful about what I watch, read and look at. Not because I want to be, but because I have to be. My spiritual, emotional, relational and physical health depends upon it. I am not trying to be a “Super Christian” or say that I’m better than anybody else, but I know that this is what God has convicted me of and so that’s what I do; and I do it ultimately because I love God and want to do what makes Him happy because I know that in the end, I will be the happiest that I can be. I can’t say that I love God and continue to live like I used to live. That’s not how it works. If I don’t do what God has told me to do, then I can’t go deeper in my relationship with Him!

After my shock and embarrassment, I then became angry because my beautiful and innocent daughter’s brain would never be the same! My wife and I have always been careful to shelter my daughter from stuff like this, but this one got through. She was exposed to that one filthy image and it will forever be locked in her brain! And if we don’t protect her and teach her to be discerning about what she looks at, the cumulative effect of those pornographic images would, research shows, drive her to some specific sexual acting out behaviors. Research shows that when kids—specifically boys--look at pornographic images that this could actually speed u the loss of their virginity by three to four years! Why? Because, the researchers say, kids are more likely to imitate what they see. That information makes me angry because my daughter is being raised in a culture that is overtly sexualized and in a culture where people don’t seem to notice or care that children and teens are exposed to that mess!

Lastly, I became extremely sad at the fact that adults and Christians specifically, for the most part, don’t and/or won’t make changes to things they watch on t.v.; whether it be sporting events or regular network television. I have a deep burden for our culture and the fact that if we as Christians don’t make changes first in our own lives then we won’t live in such a way that others see us as different. We can write our Congressional representatives all day long, we can picket certain stores and write letters to certain companies to stop certain “non-Christian” practices. But unless we begin to make changes in our personal lives: what we see, how we speak, what we talk about, how we dress: true modesty; then our children will never internalize our beliefs and make them theirs. Unless those changes are based squarely on our relationship with God and on the principles of responsible Christian behavior that He has given us and not a list of dos and don’ts, our children will never understand the joy of serving the Lord in freedom from the shackles of sin and addiction. Unless our children and the world see that we are truly happy, joyful and peaceful in our relationship with God, they will say to themselves “why bother?! They’re Christians and they’re miserable!” And they would rather choose the world and take what they perceive to be happiness and fun rather than choose God and “be miserable.” All they will see is the fact that our behaviors don’t match our beliefs and then they will conclude that Christianity, in effect, doesn’t really work! Remember, in all we say and do, we are witnesses: either for Christianity or the alternative.

So what did I learn? I learned that I have to be able to give my daughter—and the world--something deeper than “because Daddy says so” or “because “I’m a Christian, that’s just not what I do” as a reason not to look at something, not to wear something, etc. One good principle that I’ve found to be useful is found in the book of Phillipians 4: 8 “Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right, holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly worthwhile and worthy of praise.”

Is it easy to stand up for what you know is the right thing to do? No! It is extremely difficult. There will most likely be hurt feelings and you may not be able to hang out with the friends you have known for awhile, but the bottom line is this: I am most worried about pleasing God rather than anybody else. And in the end, when I get to Heaven and am standing before God, I want Him to be happy and proud or me, not ashamed of me. I want Him to be able to say to me “well done, good and faithful servant.” “"My father has blessed you! Come and receive the kingdom that was prepared for you before the world was created.” Matthew 25: 34

Until next week, remember: stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Omar Miranda

Your Body is Your Own...or Is It?

2009-01-30T15:40:00.000-05:00

I’ve been a counselor now for 13 years and nothing much surprises me anymore; however, when I read about this foolishness, I have to say that I was speechless—which is very rare indeed!

Take a look at the latest news story. No doubt you’ve already heard about it or read about it. I’ll let you read it and then I’ll give you my thoughts about it all.

Student Natalie Dylan from San Diego auctions her virginity, reportedly got bids up to $3.7 million

BY CATEY HILL
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER
Wednesday, January 14th 2009, 11:46 AM

"I think me and the person I do it with will both profit greatly from the deal," Dylan told the paper. Dylan wants to auction off her virginity to pay for her master's degree in Family and Marriage Therapy.

"I know that a lot of people will condemn me for this because it's so taboo but I really don't have a problem with that," Dylan told the Daily Telegraph.

In another statement Dylan stated “I don't have a moral dilemma with it. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity? I understand some people may condemn me. But I think this is empowering. I'm using what I have to better myself."

Dylan is confident that she is not degrading herself by auctioning her virginity. "My study is completely authentic in that I truly am auctioning my virginity but I am not being sold into this. I'm not being taken advantage of in any way," she told the paper.

"It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore," she told the paper.

Downloaded on 1/16/09 from http://www.nydailynews.com/money/2009/01/13/2009-01-13_student_natalie_dylan_from_san_diego_auc.html

WOW!!! Really?! She’s working towards her Master’s degree in Family & Marriage Therapy?! I can’t imagine how she can seriously tell other people that marriage is unique and important when the one thing that God uses to glue two different people together; the one thing that is the most intimate expression of love between two people—the sexual union—is being sold to the highest bidder! The Bible makes it very clear in Genesis 2:24 “That's why a man will leave his own father and mother. He marries a woman, and the two of them become like one person.” Or how about Dylan’s views on extra-marital sex? Do you really think she would have a problem with a spouse having an affair?! I don’t think so.

I wonder if Dylan has ever slowed down and truly thought about how her actions and attitudes are affecting the culture? Our actions—especially as Christians—have a positive or a negative effect on people’s views of God and the culture in general. I’m sure Dylan isn’t cool with drug addiction, child sexual abuse, rape and murder; but all of these can be a result of sex and pornography addiction. And prostitution is one of the direct results of sex and porn addiction and something that continues to drive it so strongly!

If you think Dylan's auction amounts to prostitution, she completely agrees. She also said she's not breaking any laws -- after all, prostitution in Nevada is legal. Dylan said this: "I feel people should be pro-choice with their body, and I'm not hurting anyone," she said. "It really comes down to a moral and religious argument, and this doesn't go against my religion or my morals. There's no right or wrong to this." Did you catch that? At least Dylan got that part right: this issue does come down to a moral and religious argument!

By the way, I don’t want you to miss not only Dylan’s selfishness, but also her complete lack of moral fiber on this important issue. She said, “there’s no right or wrong to this.” Really, so I guess there’s no right or wrong to all the violent crimes I just discussed earlier. I guess she’d be okay with saying that there’s no problem with that either. Dylan also said, “I’m not hurting anyone.” Every time somebody looks at pornography or gets involved in something sexually outside the bounds of their marriage or their spouse, they are not only hurting themselves, but they are hurting the other person(s), their perceptions of the opposite sex and the culture as a whole. Dylan also said “I’m pro-choice with my body.” Me too Dylan—I’m definitely pro-choice with my body--just with my wife and nobody else!

Take a look at what she said again: “It's shocking that men will pay so much for someone's virginity, which isn't even prized so highly anymore." I find it interesting that she is pretty much contradicting herself! On the one hand, she’s auctioning herself off and on the other hand, she’s saying that virginity is not important or special. I thoroughly disagree! Virginity is a beautiful gift that you give your spouse. And once it’s gone, it’s gone. Now thank God that a Christian can confess their sins, repent, and ask for—and receive forgiveness, but the consequences of lost virginity can never be restored—even if a woman’s hymen can be surgically repaired. There is no surgical repair for a memory or lost innocence!

Dylan continued with her negative comments: “I don't have a moral dilemma with it. Why shouldn't I be allowed to capitalize on my virginity? I understand some people may condemn me. But I think this is empowering. I'm using what I have to better myself." Ultimately, what it comes down to is who’s in charge? Who’s body is it? Is it yours or God’s? Did you catch how many times Dylan used the word and/or the pronoun “I” in that statement? She used it 7 times! The Bible very clearly states that if we are Christians, then we don’t run the show, because we’re dead! Galatians 2:20 says it like this “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” If I am dead and Christ is the one that’s alive in me, then I don’t get the right to make those kinds of decisions.

The Bible also tells us that Christians that our bodies are not our own and God is in charge. Further, we are to use our bodies to please and honor God, not ourselves.1 Corinthians. 5: 12; 15-20 puts it like this “Some of you say, "We can do anything we want to." But I tell you that not everything is good for us. So I refuse to let anything have power over me…We are not supposed to do indecent things with our bodies. We are to use them for the Lord who is in charge of our bodies…Don't you know that your bodies are part of the body of Christ? Is it right for me to join part of the body of Christ to a prostitute? No, it isn't! Don't you know that a man who does that becomes part of her body? The Scriptures say, "The two of them will be like one person." But anyone who is joined to the Lord is one in spirit with him. Don't be immoral in matters of sex. That is a sin against your own body in a way that no other sin is. You surely know that your body is a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. The Spirit is in you and is a gift from God. You are no longer your own. God paid a great price for you. So use your body to honor God.”

Lastly, we Christians, in response to God’s ultimate sacrifice of Jesus dying on the cross for us, should give our bodies as living sacrifices to God; then and only then, can we truly understand what God’s will is for us. Take a read for yourself: Rom. 12: 1-2a “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Practically speaking, every day we have to make choices that will honor God with our bodies: not only who we have sex with, but also what we wear, what we eat, what we watch, where we go, etc., etc. So, today and every day, make a choice to honor God with your body. I promise, He will honor your promise and in return, bless you immensely for it.

Until next week: Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

Omar Miranda
1 Cor, 6: 9-11

Looking for Love In All the Wrong Places!

2009-01-21T15:07:00.000-05:00

Hey Gang,

I downloaded this from cnn.com on 1/21/09. Check it out:

Blow-up doll sex suspect arrested in Australia

(CNN) -- Police in Australia have arrested a man accused of breaking into an adult shop and having sex with blow-up dolls, it was reported Wednesday.
The 23-year-old allegedly broke into the Laneway Adult Shop in the northen Australian city of Cairns on several occasions, having sex with a doll named "Jungle Jane," the Cairns Post reported.
It earlier quoted the store's owner saying the burglar always cleaned up after himself, but the dolls were dumped unceremoniously in an alleyway behind the store.
"He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley," he said. "It is totally bizarre."
Police have charged the unidentified man, believed to be from the city's Manunda suburb, with four counts of breaking and entering. They told the paper that DNA samples had been recovered from one of the dolls.
"Following intelligence-based inquiries, we attended a Manunda address and made an arrest," police spokesman Jason Chetham said, according to the Post."

When I first read this story the first thing that struck me was this: this man is looking for love in all the wrong places! I realized that this man is most likely addicted to sex & pornography. This is a perfect example of a sex-drive that’s out of control! Now that I am in recovery from sex & pornography addiction, I can look back and see both the beauty and the beast in our sex-drive as human beings.

God created sex and sexuality to be a beautiful—and almost a spiritual thing. When it is done in the proper context, it has an incredible effect of cementing and fusing two people together into one. The Bible, in Genesis 2:24 says it like this “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Here the text refers to the lifelong monogamous union (or marriage) of one man and one woman. Interestingly enough, the word “cleave” can mean two opposite things. It can be positive (as in marriage): to cement, unify or meld two things together or it can be negative (as in pornography and sex addiction): to separate, split or divide.

Sex can be a powerful tool for good or for evil. Research shows that sex has many positive physical and emotional health benefits, but as we’ve already mentioned, if used inappropriately, it can also be addictive and potentially very destructive. The Bible very clearly states in 1 Corinthians 6: 12-13 “Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me—but I will not be mastered by anything. Food for the stomach and the stomach for food—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.” Translation: God never meant sex to be used as an addiction! The only thing God wants to be in control of us is Him!

Reflecting upon this story makes me feel sorry for this criminal. This “blow-up doll bandit” as I’ll call him. This person I know that he has got to be addicted…and miserable! Addiction isn’t fun at all and addicted people are not happy. They don’t know how to be truly intimate in their relationships: with themselves, with others and with God. They lack internal emotional and spiritual peace. They are selfish and they are very unhappy.

I can guarantee that this person probably began by being introduced to pornography on purpose, came across it by accident, or is the victim of some sort of sexual abuse. However, he came about pornography, it’s clear that he became addicted to pornography and probably then needed to expose himself to more and more explicit and hardcore forms of pornography in search of the same “high” or newness.

Given the fact that he has already broken into this store several times previously makes it clear that his behavior is increasing in both frequency and intensity! Did you catch what the store owner said? That the burglar always cleaned up after himself, but the dolls were dumped in an alleyway behind the store. Did you hear the normalizing tone behind the shop owner’s comment? It was almost as if he was okay with this person doing this [breaking in to his store], but he was bothered by the fact that he didn’t “clean up after himself!” WOW! What kind of culture are we living in that folks aren’t really bothered by sexually immoral or deviant behavior—by the way—pornography is both immoral and deviant!

The fact that this person is having sex with blow-up dolls and then leaving them in the alley concerns me, because this person is a ticking time bomb. It’s apparent that he has crossed over a very important line that distinguishes sexual acting out from criminal behavior. Now, I fear, it may not be far for this person to go before he begins to violently sexually act out—if he hasn’t already started. My hope is that this man will get some help not only for his violent impulses, but also for his more serious issue of sex & pornography addiction. I have noticed that a lot of people don’t see this as a problem—even when given the research and statistics about the prevalence and seriousness of the issue. I think this is for two specific reasons:

1. They themselves are addicted to sex and pornography.
2. They have become brainwashed by the lies of this sexually permissive and saturated culture.

So what are we to make of this tragic story of an individual who is suffering as a consequence of a series of progressively bad decisions? What do we do with this information? Well, maybe you know somebody who is stuck in some sort of addictive behavior…or at least a bad habit that has the potential to become an addiction. Be transparent. Take a personal risk and tell them your story. Speak with them about your experiences, your success—and your failures. Warn them and inform them! Maybe you’ve had some experiences that could be helpful to them. There is power is not only telling your story, but having somebody else learn from it.

The Israelite King Solomon spent almost his entire life spinning his emotional and spiritual wheels looking for love in all the wrong places. He was searching for joy, peace, and connection in all kinds of things—addictions included—but in the end, he never found it…at least not in those other things. He told us about his life. He was honest and transparent and wrote everything down for us to learn from. I sure am thankful that he did. His personal diary, so to speak is contained in the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes. Ecclesiastes is part of what’s called “The Wisdom Books” and for good reason, because there is much wisdom found in the pages of this book. Near the end of his life King Solomon realized some very important things; here they are: “Everything . . . [that Solomon learned in his life] can be put into a few words: Respect and obey God! This is what life is all about. God will judge everything we do, even what is done in secret, whether good or bad.” Ecclesiastes 12: 13-14.

Who knows, maybe your story could be the very thing that begins the process of freeing someone from the shackles of sex and pornography addiction and puts them on the right track to looking for—and finding--love in right place: in the forever accepting, safe and strong arms of God!

Remember: stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Omar Miranda

Land of the Free...and Still the Brave?!

2009-01-12T12:34:00.000-05:00

I downloaded the following from cnn.com on 1/7/09

Porn industry seeks federal bailout

From CNN's Rebecca Sinderbrand and Mark Preston

WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.

–CNN’s Chloe Melas contributed to this report

The proponents of porn have long whined and complained about their first amendment rights to freedom of speech and freedom of expression. Well, I have one thing to say: Let’s see if Congress actually gives them money! Let’s see how many lawmakers want to go down in history as supporting PORN! They bemoan the fact that USA is the land of freedom. Let’s see if they are "brave" enough to really believe in an objective and true right and wrong! All the research points to how deadly, destructive and addictive porn—in all it’s forms—is; not just child pornography!

I know that I’ve already written my local congress representative. I urge you to do the same! I’m tracking this story on all the news outlets. I’ll keep you all posted as I hear more.

Until next week, remember: stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Omar Miranda

Dead Man walking!

2009-01-04T22:50:00.000-05:00

Last week I talked about my new New Year’s Resolution: to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and to love others as I love myself. But I came to the conclusion that it’s easier said than done! Let’s not be careful to put the cart before the horse. Before I can expound on the “what” of loving others, I’ve got to clarify the “how.” So this week I’d like to discuss how is it possible for me to actually get outside of myself and truly love God and others with all I’ve got?

Well, it all started with my birth. The Bible makes it really clear that I was born sinful and evil…don’t be shocked--so were you! Don’t get your feelings hurt. That’s a fact, just like gravity. Don’t believe me? Read it for yourself: “When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Yes, people sinned even before the law was given. But it was not counted as sin because there was not yet any law to break. Still, everyone died—from the time of Adam to the time of Moses—even those who did not disobey an explicit commandment of God, as Adam did…” Romans 5:12-14. Romans 3:10 also puts it bluntly “No one is righteous—not even one.” And Romans 3:23 says it like this “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.” That’s pretty clear, don’t you think?

Thanks to a guy named Adam, everybody who’s been born after him has been dealing with this sin problem. Adam basically ate himself out of house and home and a close relationship with God. Want more info about Adam’s brainless choice? You can read about it in the biblical book of Genesis 3. Where were we, that’s right, Adam made a stupid and selfish choice a long time ago and because of his choice, I was born sinful. So there’s no way that I can make it right, but Jesus Christ made it right! Let’s read on.

The Bible says “when we were utterly helpless, [Jesus] Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending [Jesus] Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Romans 5: 6-8 Isn’t that cool? But as the infomercial announcer says “but wait, that not all!” Here’s the coolest part: “For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ. Yes, Adam’s one sin brings condemnation for everyone, but Christ’s one act of righteousness brings a right relationship with God and new life for everyone. Because one person disobeyed God, many became sinners. But because one other person obeyed God, many will be made righteous…So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death, now God’s wonderful grace rules instead, giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 5: 17-19, 21

So Jesus died to make it right. Because of his death, he took my badness—my sin--and has made it so I can have his—perfection/goodness—righteousness. In doing that, he restored that right relationship with God that Adam originally lost and I can be perfect again, right? The answer is an emphatic YES! So this discussion is over right? It shouldn’t be hard for me to love God and others with all I’ve got…but it is hard. Oh, it is sooooo hard! At this point you might think to yourself “self, I’m confused. Why should it be so hard to love God and others unselfishly?” Why, because when Jesus died for you, he died to give you the power and the opportunity to have a relationship with God. He opened up the conduit—flipped the switch so to speak--for you and I to receive His power to do, think, feel, and say the right, good and unselfish things, but we still live in imperfect bodies, in an imperfect world, AND we live with our bad habits.

Before Jesus died and we accepted his death as ours and let him “run the show” in our lives, we were doing everything on our own steam, and remember, we’re all evil and selfish and sinful. Bottom line: sinful people are selfish. That’s what they do best: they sin. Loving God and others with all you’ve got means you are not selfish, but selfless! It means that that natural sinful self, the Bible calls it the “flesh” or your body wants to continue to sin, but as we said before, Jesus died to give you the power through his Holy Spirit working with you and in you to ensure your success!

As we’ve already said, sinners don’t feel bad or get frustrated when they can’t do right; to be honest, they don’t really think about it much because it’s not in their nature. But Christians do. So there’s a war going on inside of Christians and Christians only, people who have accepted by faith Jesus and his perfect life and death in their place. Christians struggle a lot with this issue, not because they’re worried about always being good and perfect, but because they want to please Jesus, the one who lived and died for them. This war is the greatest and most difficult war that I will ever face. It’s a war that goes on between the flesh and the spirit.

A guy named Paul, who used to be called Saul wrote about this flesh vs. spirit struggle. This guy was a PSYCHO!!! He was a murderer for hire! Paul himself tells the story of God literally knocking Saul—I mean Paul—off his high horse and how Paul put his psycho sinner days behind him. The story is found in the book of Acts 9: 1-31. Look it up, it’s one heck of a conversation starter. Anyhow, Paul writes about this war. Listen to how he describes it and then you’ll know what I’m talking about. “So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7: 14-25

Paul describes this war that goes on constantly! Chances are pretty good that at some point in your Christian life, you’ve probably felt this way too. Maybe you’re feeling this way right now, but don’t freak out on me, there’s a way to overcome it and it’s rather simple! Just kill the natural/sin self! Don’t go calling the police on me just yet. This was Paul’s solution—actually it was God’s solution--to the sin problem, God just told Paul to write it down in a way that we could wrap our minds around.

First things first, the Bible tells us that Jesus Christ died—was crucified--on a Roman wooden cross (like a criminal) to take the penalty for our sins. He was perfect and sinless but he became sin for us—yeah, I know, I know, I still can’t understand that either. Anyhow, Paul writing in the biblical book of Galatians 2:20 says it like this “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Did you catch that? Paul says that when he accepted Christ’s death by faith as a credit for his death, that his natural sinful old self, was crucified [and died] with Christ, and the person that is alive now in Paul’s body is not Paul, but Jesus! It’s confusing I know, maybe several more passages of scripture will clear it up.

“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin…so you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus. Do not let sin control the way you live, do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace. Romans 6:1-2 & 6-14. So now you understand what I mean by my title: “Dead Man Walking.” I am alive, but Jesus lives in me. A lot of people want to ask Jesus to help them to be good, think good, feel good and act good, but Jesus can’t help you because you are dead! You don’t have a say! You’re dead! You can’t complain or resist because? You guessed it: you’re dead! Get it?! Good. So how do you remind yourself that you are dead? It’s simple really, you just think it every morning. Actually, I have to say it out loud to remind myself. Any time that you begin to think that you’re in charge and running the show again, remember, you’re dead, God’s in charge. Say it to yourself over and over and over if you need to.

I’ll tell you what I do. I’m such a knuckle-head and so stubborn that I actually typed a little affirmation—it’s about a paragraph long--and I repeat it to myself every morning. This is what it says “Omar (that’s my name, but feel free to insert your name here. It wouldn’t make much sense if you didn’t). Who’s the Boss? Who will control my life? Me or the Holy Spirit?! Remember: I’m a dead man walking! God, I can’t do anything if you don’t do it for me because I am dead. I need you to empower me! God, today I give my will to you. Today, I surrender all of myself to you. Not my will, but yours be done God. I love you more than my sin. Every decision that I make: everything I say, think, look at, listen to, read or do either will bring you happiness and joy and bring me closer and closer to you or it will make you sad, grieve you and will take me further and further away from you. Every second of every day my goal is to be closer to you; to be like you; to please you and to magnify you! I am lost or sanctified by degrees.”

I’ll tell you the truth. Giving up my will to make my own decisions and allowing God to do it for me has been the best and most difficult thing I’ve ever done—and continue to do in my life…why? Because, every day I have to make the decision to die—all over again. Jesus said “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.” --Luke 9: 23-24

So, let’s go back to the first question I asked “how is it possible for me to actually get outside of myself and truly love God and others with all I’ve got?” I can’t, but God can, and now you know how. If you still doubt, remember “[You] can do all things through Him [God] who gives [you] strength.” Phillipians 4:13 And how will you do that? “…continue to work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” Phillipians 2:12-13 Here’s the translation: it’s all up to God. The only question is: are you a dead man walking? Are you going to let him do for you what you can’t do for yourself?

Now that I’ve discussed the “how” of loving God and others with all we’ve got, next week, I’ll discuss the “what.” What do we need to do to love God and others. How do we show God that we truly love him and that we truly love others?

Until next week, remember: Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

Omar Miranda
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

The Center of The Mark

2009-01-01T13:16:00.000-05:00

WHEWWW!!! I’m tired! Are you tired?! I know I am. I love Christmas and New Year’s. My tree and all my Christmas stuff is still up—to be honest, I don’t want to take it all down! But that’s another entry for another time. After all the presents have been opened—and some of them returned, all the bills have been paid (PRAISE GOD!) and all the fruitcake eaten…o.k., o.k. I can’t lie, I gave the fruitcake away; but after all that’s been done, it’s time to write the dreaded NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. This year, I’m being realistic and staying really basic. I’m focusing on relationships! Now it’s a given that I’ve got to focus on my health. I can’t really do anything for anybody else unless I’m healthy and strong, but this year I’m really trying to simplify, simplify, simplify.

Several years ago, I heard an incredible song by the group 4 Him. The song was called “The Center of The Mark.” I think the lyrics most simply illustrate what my focus—and yours—should be this year, and for the rest of our lives. Here are the lyrics.

The Center of The Mark
To love God, love people That's the center of the mark
Verse 1
In this life, some things are bound to change. But one thing remains the same: We all need love. Time goes by. It moves like a hurricane. And through all the wind and rain: We all need love.
As this world just keeps on turning round and round. There are treasures to be found. If we just let compassion lead the way. CHORUS Draw back your bow, let love go. Shoot straight for the heart. With all of you might, set your sight. Take aim from the start. To love God, love people: That's the Center of The Mark.

Verse 2
Every day, through what is and is to come. When all has been said and done: we all need love. So Jesus came, a gift from the heart of God. He gave us His life because, we all need love. And the love that death could not keep in the grave is alive in us today; so we must live to show the world the way.

Bridge
For the world is the target and the arrow is the cross. As we set out on this journey from the heart of God, let us love at any cost!

Did you hear the focus? To love God and love people, that’s the center of the mark! That is my New Year’s resolution:

1. Love God
2. Love People

Jesus was all about keeping it simple. That’s what I love about him. He didn’t let anyone or anything sway him from his vision. Jesus said it most clearly in a conversation He had with somebody—of all people—who didn’t like Him and was trying to trick Him into saying something that would get Him in trouble and possibly get him thrown in jail and killed! But He spoke to the guy anyway, because that’s what Jesus was about: building bridges—relationships if you will—with people that were His natural enemies (by the way, this is an incredible lesson for us!) A guy who spent 3 years hanging out with Jesus was there. He saw and heard the whole thing. Let’s see what he has to say about this interaction:

“Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:34-40

Whoa! Did you catch it?! Jesus just threw down with the bottom line: the best thing that you and me can do, I mean the thing that makes God pleased with us and most shows others what He’s really about is to love God and love others--like we love ourselves! God’s commandments (there are 10 by the way) were originally given to the Israelites as they were out in desert.

The Israelites were a rag-tag bunch of ex-slaves that had just escaped from the Egyptians. They were confused, dirty and tired, but most of all, they had been brainwashed. God had to reprogram them. The 10 Commandments were God’s first reprogramming instrctions and were given by God to help the people live long, wise and happy lives. The first four commandments were all about how they were to relate to God and the last six commandments were all about how they were to relate to themselves. If you want to read more specifically on the details of God’s commandments and laws, read the book of Exodus and Leviticus (it’s also great reading when you can’t sleep at night, crack it open, read a couple of lines and BOOM, you’re asleep!) Important—but somewhat boring stuff!

Anyhow, now that I’ve given you that background on the ten commandments, let’s unpack what Jesus said about the most important one. He said that all the other eight commandments basically “hung” on the greatest commandment. Because if you love God, then you’re naturally going to follow the first four commandments and if you love others, then you’re going to naturally follow the other six…But how do you love God and man? Jesus says with all our “heart,” “soul” and “mind”…translation: love God and love others with everything you’ve got! Love them with your time, your emotions, your gifts, your money!!! Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now Jesus is starting to ask me to make some real sacrifices. We’ll talk about that more this month. Let’s get back to the story.

Let’s read what another 24-7 close friend of Jesus named Mark had to say. He saw the same interaction; maybe he can give us more information on what happened. “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

"Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." --Mark 12: 28-33

Did you catch that last part of the conversation? The first part was pretty much about the same as Matthew records, but Mark records that the “teacher of the law” responded to Jesus after hearing his answer “To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." (Emphasis mine) This guy got it! I shall translate it again for you: God wants you to make relationships your most important goal this year! Don’t talk about doing it, as Nike says: “Just do it!”

Jesus came, to show us how to love both—perfectly--and in doing those, He changed the course of history and gave us the hope of an eternal, real and lasting relationship with Him. Now, He wants us to do pass that love along. To show the world the same love and acceptance that we’ve received—and continue to receive on a daily basis from Him! It’s not easy, but it is definitely worthwhile. The rest of this month, I’ll be focusing on what the Bible says about this topic and how we can make God’s mandates real and how that translates into our lives.

So there it is. That’s my new New Year’s Resolution: to love God and to love others in the same ways I love myself! That’s a tall order. There’s no way that you nor I can do that by ourselves. And God knows that too. Next week we’ll talk about how we can hook up with God and let Him live His life through us. But if you can’t wait until next week, here’s a hint. Ask yourself this question: What would Jesus do? Then ponder the paradox of a dead man walking.

Until next week. Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

Happy New Year!!!

No More Buffer Pillow

2008-12-26T10:46:00.000-05:00

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas! I know I did. I spent time playing with my kids on the floor—and getting jumped on a lot. My daughter woke up at 3:52 a.m. on Christmas morning…needless to say me and my groggy-eyed wife forced her into our bed and she “slept” until 7 a.m. Then we got up and woke up our son (usually it’s the other way around) and then…well, as Paul Harvey says: you know “the rest of the story.”

After a frantic morning of opening presents, special Christmas feasting, a Christmas parade on the T.V., playing with the kids, and the compulsory watching of “A Christmas Story,” it was off to bed for an early nap.

Now nap time in the Miranda household is SERIOUS BUSINESS! We play hard…and we sleep hard as well. Well, my son was put in his crib and he willingly laid down. He must have been really tired—remember, we woke him up earlier. Then my daughter and wife usually sleep in our bed together. Naptime is their special time together. They kick me out, which is fine because I take this time to recharge my spiritual and physical batteries and read/study my Bible, talk to God, exercise, or just read a good book. Sometimes I’ve also been known to catch a few winks. And it works out well, because when my son wakes up, I get to spend some “man time” with him.

As my wife and daughter were getting “bedded down,” I overheard my daughter say something cute. Initially I laughed, but as I was exercising and talking to God, I thanked him for the wisdom and the deep spiritual insight that He shared with me through my daughter’s innocent comment. Let me give you a brief background. You already know that every day my wife and daughter nap together, but what you don’t know is that my daughter subscribes to the newborn puppy model of napping…you know what I’m talking about: a heaping pile of flesh with tangled up bodies and limbs poking out here and there. I mean, if my daughter had her way, she would literally sleep right underneath my wife. Well, that’s great for my daughter, but my wife likes her space while sleeping.

It’s interesting to watch because my wife will put a buffer pillow—that’s what I call it—between herself and my daughter. If not, by nap’s end, my daughter will end up literally on top of my wife. So now that you have the background info, let’s fast-forward back to the beginning of nap time. There they were getting into bed and my daughter blurts out: “Mama, can we please get rid of the pillow?! After all, it’s Christmas!” That’s it? No mention of Jesus, the manger or the cross? Nope, so “what’s the big deal?” You might ask; well, the big deal is that when Jesus was born, his whole purpose for being on this earth was so that He could remove the spiritual “buffer pillow” that separated you and me from a close relationship with God.. Isn’t that cool?! That’s a great metaphor isn’t it? The more I thought about it, the more I thanked God for His gift of His Son Jesus Christ.

The Bible clearly tells us in Colossians 1: 16b, that we were made by Him and for Him. Romans 3:23 clearly tells us that we’re all sinners and because of that we can never have a relationship with God. Isaiah 59:2 makes it clear that we can never have that relationship because our sins have cut us off from God. Our sins have made a buffer—a barrier from God! But there is a relationship you can have. 1 Peter 3:18 says that Jesus Christ—the same Jesus Christ that was born in a manger in a barn to an unwed teenage mother—came to live a perfect life and died in your place so that you could have a relationship with God. Jesus, through His birth, life, death and resurrection has taken your sins away and broken down that barrier and now there is nothing that stands in the way of you having a relationship with God. But Acts 3:19 says that you must choose to have that relationship. You must turn to God that your sins may be forgiven. John 3:16 says it best. “For God so loved (insert your name) that He gave His one and only Son [Jesus Christ], that [if] (insert your name) believes in Him, [then] (insert your name) shall not die, but have eternal life!

If you’re tired of living apart from a relationship to God and don’t want barriers in your life, then pray this prayer “Lord, I’m sorry for running my own life. I’ve been living for me. I stop as of today. I believe your Son, Jesus Christ, paid my death penalty when He died on the cross. I’m turning from a life of “my way” and I’m putting all my trust in Jesus Christ, to give me a relationship with You, and to get me to heaven. Lord, from today on, I’m Yours.”

If you prayed that prayer, shoot me an e-mail or call me; I’d love to know about it and I’d love to give you more information on how to continue building a strong and real relationship with God.

Have a Merry Christmas and remember: you don’t have to go on living with a “pillow” between you and God, you can remove it today!

Black...and Blue Friday

2008-12-02T23:16:00.000-05:00

“It was like the running of the bulls in Spain!” My wife told me with a voice that was quivering. Her eyes appeared to be bugging out of her head and her hands were shaking. I thought to myself, “is she describing a fight; an accident; a natural disaster of biblical proportions?!” No, what she was describing in horribly descriptive detail was…a sale…at the Wal-mart…at 5 a.m.—that’s right, a.m.—the day after Thanksgiving! She was there at 4:45 and the parking lot was packed!

She braved bleary-eyed, crazed, frothy-mouthed shoppers—some of which probably had not had sleep the night before due to planning their Friday shopping blowout down to the last aisle and item in intricate, “Ocean’s Elevenesque” detail. Now, before you begin to judge my wife, I need to give you a little background; first, let’s talk about our finances. We are a one-income family and money is tight! Conversely, the money that she saved was PHENOMENAL!!! Secondly, my wife did it because she loves her family and that’s why she subjected herself to this craziness.

I’m thankful for my wife’s love for both her family and for her unwavering focus on being a good steward of our money, BUT…in the end, it’s just stuff! Several years ago I saw a bumper sticker on a car that read “The person who dies with the most toys wins!” But the real-life bumper sticker should read “The person who dies with the most toys…still dies!” We live in a world that is absolutely hollow! It’s like a beautiful chocolate Easter bunny. Sweet to eat for a bit, but hollow and leaves you wanting! I’ll come back to this thought in a minute.

An article I saw on cnn.com on 11/30/08 titled: “Wal-mart death preventable, union says.” The article goes on to say this “Jdimytai Damour, 34, was crushed as he and other employees attempted to unlock the doors of a Long Island, New York, store at 5 a.m. Friday, police said.” The article goes on to report “At the Wal-Mart, police say that a line began forming at 9 p.m. Thursday and that, by 5 a.m. Friday, there were as many as 2,000 customers outside. A video showed about a dozen people knocked to the ground as the doors were opened and the crowd surged, breaking the doors. Minutes later, police trying to give Damour first aid were jostled by customers still running into the store, authorities said.”

A person DIED BECAUSE PEOPLE WANTED STUFF!!! Why are we so focused on stuff? Is it that important? I contend that the stuff isn’t that important, but it’s the hole that the stuff is trying to fill that is so important. You see, each one of us has been created by God with a hole in our soul—an indescribable need for an intimate relationship with him that nothing will ever fill…nothing but God. So there are only two questions that you have to ask yourself (and hopefully answer correctly):

1. Am I looking for stuff to fill that hole in my soul that only God can fill?
2. If I am, what do I need to do about it to fill it with the right thing: God?

In regards to the first question, which by the way is a timeless and crucial issue. The wisest man that ever lived spent his entire life searching for meaning and satisfaction without God. To his frustration—but to our benefit—he wrote everything down in his diary and we have it in the form of the Old Testament Biblical book called Ecclesiastes. I will share what he said about his—and our--search for God: “"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. "Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless." He goes on to write “All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here already, long ago; it was here before our time.

Solomon rants and raves for 12 chapters about all his getting and all his stuff. At one point we find out that he got literally anything and everything he wanted…can you imagine that. That is incomprehensible to me! This is what he wrote: “I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flourishing trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves who were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well—the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me. I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

In the end Solomon admits that the only way to be happy and satisfied is to “. . . Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God's providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole [duty] for every man.”

So there you have it. The sad, sordid tale of one man’s—correction: of all mankind’s-- search for satisfaction, peace and joy. Solomon said it straight: if you want to be happy, if you want to have peace and joy and satisfaction in life, then acknowledge and respect God and obey what He says! The only true and lasting freedom, joy and peace are found in Him. The Apostle Paul said it this way in the New Testament Biblical book of Acts: “in Him we live and love and have our being.”
Back to my original statement: “It’s just stuff.” Stuff is o.k. as long as you recognize that’s that is all it is: STUFF! Nothing, not stuff, not knowledge, not even earthly relationships—as important as they are--can replace God! Hey, as stuff goes, the stuff I’m getting this year is pretty cool, but the coolest thing in the world is something you can’t buy in a store. It’s a daily close and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as not only my Saviour, but my Lord as well.

Take a look at what the Bible says about stuff and what will ultimately happen to it: “But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.” Did you catch that?! It’s ALL going to burn up. All our collective stuff will one day be gone…and the only thing we’ll have left is the only thing I—and you--really ever needed in the first place--Salvation: perfect peace and fellowship with God. I hope you have salvation, but if you don’t it’s really easy to get it. Salvation is the only free gift that REALLY IS FREE; not just for this season, but for forever! It cost Jesus a whole lot to give it to you: it cost Him His life! Click on this link for a great description of how to get your free gift TODAY…RIGHT NOW!!! Here’s the link: http://www.ccci.org/wij/index.aspx

If you accepted God’s free gift of salvation today, write me and let me know, I’d love to rejoice with you and send you some free literature about how you can deepen your relationship with Him. Have a merry Christmas, enjoy your Christmas gifts (in moderation) and for goodness sake, be careful when you’re shopping, I’ve heard it can be a real contact sport!

You've Got to Be Kidding Me?!

2008-11-16T23:28:00.000-05:00

You’ve Got to Be Kidding Me?!

“You’ve got to be kidding me?!” I mumbled under my breath, as I read an article on my home page. It was, Monday, November 3, 2008 and I sat in my office reading an article on cnn.com. I was underwhelmed; here was the title: Study links sexual content on TV to teen pregnancy. WOW! What a shocker! That’s almost as surprising as saying, study links jumping out of airplanes without parachute linked to death!

The article went on to relate that “adolescents with a high level of exposure to television shows with sexual content are twice as likely to get pregnant or impregnante someone as those who saw fewer programs of this kind over a period of three years. It is the first study to demonstrate this association. . . a central message from the study is that there needs to be more dialogue about sex in the media, particularly among parents and their children. . .” WELL DUH!

Have we reached the point in our culture that we need a study to “prove” this fact? Children become like those people they’re around! If all they’re around is T.V.--and most T.V. programming is rampant with sex and sexuality—and there is no adult there to mitigate the T.V. viewing, then it’s no surprise that this will be the end result. This same article went on to state that results from a previous research study this same organization, the RAND Corporation, conducted “. . . showed that teens who watch a lot of television with sexual content are more likely to initiate intercourse the following year.” DOUBLE DUH!

In the midst of all this research, this is no surprise to me because as a middle-school counselor, I see it everyday. I deal with teens and their families who are dealing with these same issues. Issues of early initiation of sex, issues of rampant pornography usage and even addiction—among middle-schoolers--and yes, even issues of pregnancy!

My father used to say something to me when I wanted to watch something on T.V. that was inappropriate; he would say “garbage in, garbage out.” Oh, your parents have been talking to mine because you’ve probably heard that too. Here’s the bottom line. Our kids are hurting and making bad decisions not only by what they’re seeing; but more importantly, they’re hurting and making bad decisions by what they’re not seeing.

Today our kids don’t see their parents and/or other adults taking the time to spend with them and educating them about just plain life—much less “the birds and the bees.” Today our kids don’t see two-parent households. Today, our kids don’t see healthy, happy marriages and intact families. Today, our kids don’t see individuals working out conflict and disagreements in a non-violent way.

Our kids today are being raised by the T.V. I remember something one of my old professors used to always say: “Miranda, you’re late again!” Oh wait, that wasn’t it…oh, I remember now; he would say “Miranda, ALL T.V. is educational.”

Our kids today are less hopeful, more anxiety-ridden, more stressed-out and less connected emotionally and relationally than ever before—so what do we do? Do we just throw our hands up and admit defeat? I would certainly think not! Did your parents admit defeat when you shaved the cat—for the third time? Oh wait, that was my parents—and no, they did not admit defeat! They spent quality time with me and loved me—and jacked me up on strong “calm down” medicine—I’m kidding, I’m kidding—the medicine wasn’t that strong.

We must re-double our efforts and give our kids what they need. And what do they need? I was waiting for you to ask. They need what we all need: love, attention, understanding and guidance. There are three concrete things you can do to give kids love, attention, understanding and guidance:

1. Spend quality time with our kids doing things they want to do—even if we don’t like it…get over yourself, it’s not about you, it’s about them. To a kid, love is spelled T-I-M-E! While you’re doing this, you can talk to your kids! I know, I know, it sounds too crazy to actually work, but give it a try. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
2. Eat dinner with your kids at least 3 times a week. The research is clear! Doing this consistently will significantly cut down on all kinds of negative emotional and behavioral issues with your kids—and while you’re at it, you can…that’s right, talk to your kids! I know, I know, I’m a genius.
3. Don’t have a kid, borrow one for a couple of hours a week: be a Mentor! Don’t know how to do it, that’s o.k.; do it anyway. All you have to do is do #1 & #2 on the list and then you’ll pretty much have it down. Seriously, if you’re not sure where to find a kid, ask your Pastor and if you don’t have a Pastor, ask your local Principal or call your local child welfare social service program like Big Brothers, Big Sisters or Boy and Girls club and tell them you want to mentor a kid; they’d be more than happy to hook you up with a loaner.

We each must do our part in making sure our kids have the skills they need to be emotionally healthy, successful, productive—and oh yeah—happy people; because remember, happy people are good, solid workers and when I get ready to retire, I’m going to need somebody to be working consistently to pay my Social Security…so I can sit at home…and watch T.V.

Until next time: Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Corinthians 6: 9-11,Omar Miranda

Dirty Diapers & Difficult Daily Decisions

2008-11-11T17:36:00.000-05:00

“Boo, boo!”
My two-and-a-half year old son ran up to me screaming. He was frantically clawing at his diaper, squirming and jumping up and down. As if something was biting him! But I knew better. Presently we are in the throes of potty training and “boo, boo” in Jackson means “poo, poo.” This is the catch-all term he uses any time he fills his diaper with a present for Daddy…lucky me!

However in this case I knew that this was SERIOUS! The back of my son’s pants were sagging badly and his bottom—and back--were wet! At this point in the story, I think some background information would be useful: my son loves all things fruit. My wife and I have worked very hard at eating healthy and being vegetarians. We have therefore rightly called my son a “fruititarian.” The word does not exist in the dictionary. It is trademarked by me—furthermore, if you use it, you have to pay me, Omar Miranda, a quarter—just wanted to make that clear.

Moving on: the day before, Jackson had inhaled multiple servings of fruit—one of those being prunes. Now, Jackson also loves bread & cheese—but who doesn’t. We allow him to eat a lot of fruit because usually the bread and cheese mitigate the normally disastrous results. Jackson also loves to sit on my lap and eat my fiber cereal—I’m sure there won’t be fiber cereal in heaven, sorry. He doesn’t eat it everyday, usually just Saturday and Sunday mornings, when I’m able to be with the family for breakfast.

Fast forward to the incident that I will call “D2 (Diaper Disaster) day.” The morning of D2 Day, my son had had some fiber cereal with me. I didn’t think anything of it. We ate, tickled, kissed, made silly faces and just generally enjoyed each other. The longer I live, the more I see the grace, mercy and love that God has given me because He gave me my two precious children! Anyhow, we were just hanging out, me and my children. The day went on and Jackson asked me for some prunes. I didn’t think anything of it, so I gave him some. Then he wanted an apple, and then some raisins. And then right after lunch, I was cleaning up the dishes and, well, you know the phrase…

I picked him up as carefully and gingerly as I could—already thinking about how I would deal with the disastrous results of his efficient and apparently powerful little digestive system. I ran to the bathtub and placed him in it. I peeled his shirt and pants off of him. I then took a towel—I had to do the laundry that day anyways—and wiped him off as much as I could. I then proceeded to take Jackson to his changing table aka decontamination area and win my Daddy points for that day.

I prepared myself for the worst! I quickly tried to take off my son’s diaper. He allowed me to undo one side of the diaper, but began to cry and scream hysterically when I tried to get the other off. I was confused. I tried forcing it off, but my son just grabbed my fingers with his hands and twisted them backwards—that hurt—a lot!!! So I in all my wisdom began to explain to my son why he should let Daddy take off his diaper. I picked up a clean diaper and some baby powder and began my own rant: “Jackson, look what Daddy has! That’s right, it’s a clean diaper and some baby powder. You have a nasty stinky booty and Daddy wants to clean you up. I know that you don’t want to be yucky. Just let Daddy clean you up and then you’ll be sweet and clean and we can go play.”

My son wasn’t buying it. In fact, he stopped crying, looked me dead in the eyes, locked his knees in the fetal position and screamed “No! Mine!” I was beside myself. I didn’t know what to do. I was becoming really frustrated. I thought to myself “why isn’t my son letting me near him?! He’s the one who initially came to me and told me that he was dirty? Why is he being so stubborn? He’s acting like he can do this all by himself, but he can’t. He’s too small. All I want to do is to make him clean, but he won’t let me!” At that moment, a little voice in my head said “now you understand!” God had pistol-whipped me—spiritually I mean! It was like I finally got it. It took another minute and my son finally allowed me to change his diaper and we went on with our day, but what God taught me still resounds with me.

Forget the romantic notion of almighty God speaking to Moses from the burning bush or speaking to the Israelites from Mount Sinai; no, God got a hold of my heart right there in front of my son’s changing table! It took my son and me battling over who would have control of changing the dirty diaper. I am a recovering sex/porn addict and like all addicts—well, like all of us--I have a hard time letting go and letting God. I constantly struggle with my will. I learned three valuable lessons that day and I would like to share them with you:

1. Knowing that I have sin in my life doesn’t make it go away. My son informed me that he had a dirty diaper, but that didn’t help the filth to be cleaned, did it?
2. I can’t clean myself up, no matter how much I try or how much I want to.
3. God can want for me to get clean all day long, but until I decide to stop fighting and let Him clean me it won’t happen.

The prolific Christian author, E.G. White in her book Steps to Christ puts it like this:

“Do you feel that it is too great a sacrifice to yield all to Christ? Ask yourself the question, "What has Christ given for me?" The Son of God gave all--life and love and suffering--for our redemption. And can it be that we, the unworthy objects of so great love, will withhold our hearts from Him? Every moment of our lives we have been partakers of the blessings of His grace, and for this very reason we cannot fully realize the depths of ignorance and misery from which we have been saved. Can we look upon Him whom our sins have pierced, and yet be willing to do despite to all His love and sacrifice? In view of the infinite humiliation of the Lord of glory, shall we murmur because we can enter into life only through conflict and self-abasement?” (p. 45)

But what do we give up, when we give all? A sin-polluted heart, for Jesus to purify, to cleanse by His own blood, and to save by His matchless love. And yet men think it hard to give up all! I am ashamed to hear it spoken of, ashamed to write it. God does not require us to give up anything that it is for our best interest to retain. In all that He does, He has the well-being of His children in view. Would that all who have not chosen Christ might realize that He has something vastly better to offer them than they are seeking for themselves. Man is doing the greatest injury and injustice to his own soul when he thinks and acts contrary to the will of God. No real joy can be found in the path forbidden by Him who knows what is best and who plans for the good of His creatures. The path of transgression is the path of misery and destruction. (p. 46)

The divine requirements call upon us to shun those indulgences that would bring suffering and disappointment, that would close to us the door of happiness and heaven. The world's Redeemer accepts men as they are, with all their wants, imperfections, and weaknesses; and He will not only cleanse from sin and grant redemption through His blood, but will satisfy the heart-longing of all who consent to wear His yoke, to bear His burden. It is His purpose to impart peace and rest to all who come to Him for the bread of life. He requires us to perform only those duties that will lead our steps to heights of bliss to which the disobedient can never attain. The true, joyous life of the soul is to have Christ formed within, the hope of glory. (p. 46)

Many are inquiring, "How am I to make the surrender of myself to God?" You desire to give yourself to Him, but you are weak in moral power, in slavery to doubt, and controlled by the habits of your life of sin. Your promises and resolutions are like ropes of sand. You cannot control your thoughts, your impulses, your affections. The knowledge of your broken promises and forfeited pledges weakens your confidence in your own sincerity, and causes you to feel that God cannot accept you; but you need not despair. What you need to understand is the true force of the will. This is the governing power in the nature of man, the power of decision, or of choice. Everything depends on the right action of the will. The power of choice God has given to men; it is theirs to exercise. You cannot change your heart, you cannot of yourself give to God its affections; but you can choose to serve Him. You can give Him your will; He will then work in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure. Thus your whole nature will be brought under the control of the Spirit of Christ; your affections will be centered upon Him, your thoughts will be in harmony with Him. (p. 47)

Desires for goodness and holiness are right as far as they go; but if you stop here, they will avail nothing. Many will be lost while hoping and desiring to be Christians. They do not come to the point of yielding the will to God. They do not now choose to be Christians. (p. 47)

Through the right exercise of the will, an entire change may be made in your life. By yielding up your will to Christ, you ally yourself with the power that is above all principalities and powers. You will have strength from above to hold you steadfast, and thus through constant surrender to God you will be enabled to live the new life, even the life of faith. (p. 48)

Here are the lyrics to one of my most favorite hymns. Incidentally, I have begun reading hymn lyrics every day as part of my morning devotional time—I’m such a knuckle-head I need two separate devotional times! J I have begun in the section of my hymnal called Consecration. I find it interesting that the last verse talks about the hardest parts of submission and surrender to Jesus: my will, my heart, my love and myself! Here are the lyrics:

Take My Life and Let It Be
Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

Also, I have included the reading from my daily reading for a book I’m reading this year called
My Utmost for His Highest it is an incredible devotional book. It’s been written by a guy named Oswald Chambers. Warning, your head may hurt after you read his stuff it’s that deep. After I began reading it, my brain hurt so much, I had to go read some comics—I’m serious! J I read this several days ago and God again slapped me! Anyhow, take a read and let me know what you think—hope He slaps you too…share the love right?

Nov. 3, 2008
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
--Galatians 2:20
These words mean the breaking and collapse of my independence brought about by my own hands, and the surrendering of my life to the supremacy of the Lord Jesus. No one can do this for me, I must do it myself. God may bring me up to this point three hundred and sixty-five times a year, but He cannot push me through it. It means breaking the hard outer layer of my individual independence from God, and the liberating of myself and my nature into oneness with Him; not following my own ideas, but choosing absolute loyalty to Jesus. Once I am at that point, there is no possibility of misunderstanding. Very few of us know anything about loyalty to Christ or understand what He meant when He said, ". . . for My sake" ( Matthew 5:11 ). That is what makes a strong saint.

Has that breaking of my independence come? All the rest is religious fraud. The one point to decide is— will I give up? Will I surrender to Jesus Christ, placing no conditions whatsoever as to how the brokenness will come? I must be broken from my own understanding of myself. When I reach that point, immediately the reality of the supernatural identification with Jesus Christ takes place. And the witness of the Spirit of God is unmistakable— "I have been crucified with Christ . . . ."

The passion of Christianity comes from deliberately signing away my own rights and becoming a bondservant of Jesus Christ. Until I do that, I will not begin to be a saint.”

Until next week…or until something really crazy happens in my life that I need to “journal” about.
Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!
1 Corinthians 6: 9-11,Omar Miranda

Lit Up: Part II

2008-11-02T15:30:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile since I've blogged. I've got no one to blame but myself. Anyhow, a lot has happened since I July; so where were we? Oh yeah, we were talking about the basics of witnessing. Telling your story as a Christian. That's right, it's that easy. Just tell your story. O.k., o.k., I'll give you some steps. There are three of them:

1. Your life before you accepted Christ
2. How did you accept Christ
3. Your life after you accepted Christ (aka: now)

Also, three things to keep in mind when you tell your story:
1. Listen to the Holy Spirit
2. Be real & honest
3. Be ready for results

You know there's a great story in the Bible that illustrates my points beautifully. It's found in three places in the book of Acts: Acts 9: 1-31; Acts 22: 1-22 & Acts 26: 1-29.

We'll focus on Paul's testimony found in Acts 22: 1-22. First, let me give you some background: Paul has his stubborn, knuckle-headed mind set to go to Jerusalem. Paul is warned by the Holy Spirit MULTIPLE times--through MULTIPLE people in MULTIPLE cities and in MULTIPLE ways--what will happen to him when he goes to Jerusalem, but Paul, insisting that he has been "compelled by the Spirit" insists on going! Paul basically says that whether he lives or dies is not the point! He is ready to die for Jesus if need be!! What?! I think Paul may have been out in the open sea too long and swallowed too much salt water.

So Paul goes to Jerusalem anyhow; hey, you've got to admire his devotion, his focus and single-mindedness...oh that you and I had that kind of focus and drive to do the things of God! Paul arrives in Jerusalem and starts yet another riot; everywhere that Paul goes he's starting riots because he refuses to water down the gospel message and tells it straight. There is a definite lesson to be learned there. How many people do you make mad when you talk about your relationship to God? Or do you avoid talking about it at all costs.

Anyhow, just as the Holy Spirit predicted would happen, Paul get's arrested and asks to speak to the crowd of onlookers who are trying to kill him. WOW, this guy is either crazy or extremely devoted--you might call him a zealot! Are you catching this? Paul isn't even concerned about himself. He takes a chance to preach to the crowd of folks that are looking to hurt him! WOW, oh that I had that kind of devotion to God. Paul just tells his story.

Paul is honest. He doesn't pull any punches and clearly shares his crazy life and "baggage" with others, but--and more importantly--he also shares how he met Christ and the power of Jesus upon his life. Once Paul does that--there is ALWAYS a response...sometimes good and sometimes bad, but what I've found in my life is that when you share the gospel with somebody and you do it honestly and with power, people's hearts will either melt or they will harden!

Sometimes they will open up and tell you their life's story in response and sometimes they will become overwhelmingly angry with you. Don't get a big head if they accept Christ; remember: it's not you, it's Christ working through you. Conversely, if they get angry at you, remember: you're just the messenger, yeah it sucks but sometimes when you represent somebody you end up catching a lot of flak that's intended for them. In this case, people some times get real upset, because you're raining on their parade. When they are confronted with the hard truth, it's hard to just change the subject and act like you haven't told them anything.

You know, the Bible calls the law (the 10 Commandments) a mirror. If you have mess on your face, sleep in your eyes and cornflakes in your hair, when you look into the mirror your're going to see the dirt and the mess. The mirror only reflects the reality! When you see that stuff, you can either clean it off or you can break the mirror and go on living with mess and dirt on your face! What am I trying to say, you are that mirror. Paul calls us Christ's ambassadors and living letters. People may never step a foot in a church or read a Bible, but they've got to see Christ when they come in contact with you!

When you share your testimony about what you've seen, heard and experienced, both in your life before and after knowing Christ, you in effect are acting as a first-person witness! That's why Christians call the act of telling your story "witnessing." You can't give your testimony if you haven't witnessed Christ.

Now that I'm done talking about theory, let's put it into real-life application. I've got an assignment for you. First, write your testimony, then give it to somebody you know who's a Christian, let them give you some constructive criticism, make changes and then start to pray the 3 Openings Prayer: "God, open an opportunity for me to share my testimony, open someone's heart to your Holy Spirit and finally, open my mouth and give me the boldness and courage to share the life-saving and life-changing message with somebody else.

When you do that: watch out and get ready for the ride of your life! If you do that, write me. I'd love to hear of your experiences!

Until next time...that next time will be this week. I've promised myself that with God's help, I will do better and will blog more regularly. Next week I'll tell you about the great fight to change the dirty diaper and how God spoke to me and what He said. It was life changing...

En La Lucha (loosely translated: "in the battle")

--Omar Miranda
1 Cor. 6: 9-11

2008-07-09T16:23:00.000-04:00

Lit Up!

In May of this year I was speaking at a conference. As I usually do, I try to take my family on as many speaking engagements as I can. There are two basic reasons why I try to travel with my family:

1. When my wife and I got married 10 years ago, I promised her that we would take a lavish—o.k., I didn’t say lavish—I thought I’d throw that in for the wow effect. Anyhow, I promised her a family vacation at least once a year. And for the most part, I’ve been true to my word…wait, wait, don’t pat me on the back just yet; listen to my second reason.

2. My wife stays home and raises our two children (6 years old and 2 years old) and I’ve come to this conclusion: regular family vacations are much easier on the pocketbook than either weekly therapy or a weekly visit to the spa—or both!

My wife deserves so much more, but I can’t complain…I mean after all, somebody else is paying for it! Anyhow, I digress; I was doing only one presentation so we were only able to spend three nights—but hey, three nights are better than one—or none! We spent several days in exotic…wait for it, wait for it: Chattanooga, Tennessee. Okay, okay, it’s not the most exotic locale, but it is where my wife and I met and fell in love, so it holds a lot of fond memories for us. Also, Chattanooga really is a wonderfully fun, family-oriented city. There really is a lot to see and do! Note to self: remember to e-mail the Chattanooga Chamber of Commerce about having them sending me a check for some advertising.

That’s right; the folks who paid me to come up put us up in some extra fancy accommodations! We only shared a bathroom with three other people—don’t laugh, I’m not kidding! Remember the Miranda mantra; repeat after me: “we didn’t have to pay for it, we didn’t have to pay for it.”

On the night following the day that I spoke, I was beat, so I was able to go to bed at roughly the same time that everybody else did. Well, if you’re getting older, like I am, getting to bed sometimes requires a checklist—and apparatus—rivaling that of a space shuttle crew getting ready for liftoff…I’m not kidding, there’s the teeth brushing with the special toothbrush and toothpaste; then there’s the flossing with the special handled flosser dealie (I made that name up); then there’s the tongue scraper (I didn’t make that one up). That’s right, you heard right—the tongue scraper, it’s a cross between a really bad visit to the dentist’s office and a heavy machinery land mover…however, it really does freshen the breath—if you can get past the pain and squelch the ever present gag reflex! Then finally there’s the mouthwash. And if you’re not tired before starting that regimen, then for sure you’ll be afterwards!

Anyhow, I digress again. The room was somewhat small and the sink was not separated by a partition, nor did it have a lovely soft white light. Did I forget to mention that this was a dormitory room? Now I’m sure that it was well cleaned before we got there, but this was still a dormitory room. Not only could you tell it once you came into the room, but once you entered the hall, you could smell it! Time for the Miranda mantra…okay, I’m fine now. Moving on. Anyhow, the room actually had two lights: a main light in the center of the room and a light directly over the sink. Many times we just turned on the sink light because it was bright enough to illuminate the entire room—and probably the room next door--and that was cool when everybody was awake, but the next night I stayed awake for a couple hours later and stayed in the lobby and did some research and writing on the computer, so I didn’t get in until late.

Needless to say, I didn’t plan ahead. If I had planned ahead I would have brushed my teeth and done all that other stuff right after supper, but as my wife always says about me “Omar, that’d be too much like right.” So there I am, it’s well after 11 p.m. and my family is snoring—all of them! They are wiped out, I’m not really worried about waking up my daughter; she sleeps like her old man, but my wife and son are extremely light sleepers! They wake up if there’s any reasonably light sound or bright light or change in the room temperature or fluctuation in the air pressure—well, o.k., maybe I’m exaggerating; but only a little. Anyhow, I walk in the room and am able to put my books and laptop in the closet by the faint light in the hallway spilling over into the edge of the room, but there’s no way that I’m going to be able to get changed into my sleeping clothes—which begs the question: why are there pockets on pajamas?!

Anyhow, there I am standing there in the pitch black trying to figure out what I’m going to do. I mean, I’m getting stressed. I start to pray and pray hard. Then I remember the thought, and it’s too smart to come from me, so I thank God and pull out my cell phone. If any of you have ever been to a concert lately, you know what I’m about to do. I gently open it and remember the room is pitch black. I punch a key and it makes a loud beeping sound, my son shifts in his bed, I hold my breath and remember my ninja training as I slow down my heartbeat and become veeerrrrryyyy still. I wait a little bit and then I turn off the sound and try it again.

This time I press the key and the phone lights up the entire room! It’s absolutely incredible. The light from my little cell phone is so bright that I have to cover it with my hand. I quickly take off my white t-shirt and wrap my cell phone in it. This dims the light somewhat, but still gives me enough light to get everything done and get to bed. As I get into bed and pull the covers over me the Holy Spirit impresses upon my mind two incredibly deep spiritual truths about this situation:

1. the more pervasive the darkness is, the brighter a light—any light –even a small one will be upon that darkness, and.

2. the moment I stopped pressing the buttons on my phone the light went off and the room got dark again! For there to be light I had to be actively doing something to give off that light.

And then in a flash the Holy Spirit again—I can always tell when the Holy Spirit is working because I don’t do anything in a flash except for put my foot in my mouth—brought two passages of scripture to mind:

Matthew 5: 14-15 (New International Version)
"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.”

Philippians 2:14-16 (New International Version)
“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life. . .”

As I pondered these two incredible truths, I began to think about my life and how many times I “hid” my light, because I was afraid of not knowing what to say or being rejected by others when I tried to tell them about my friend Jesus. But then I thought about a sadder truth: how many more times did I tell others about Jesus, but dimmed my “light” by wrapping it up in the “t-shirts” of worldliness through using different language or “watering down” the truth so as to not offend or upset anybody. In the end, not sharing Jesus or changing the truth to make it easier to swallow is both unacceptable to God. He wants us to be bold--not rude--but honest, clear, and concise. It’s not hard to do, in fact, if you have a daily and real relationship with Jesus, then it should be the easiest thing to do. As I stated before, I’m married, and I find it very easy to brag on my wife and talk all about her wonderful qualities. In fact, my wife jokingly states “Omar, you talk about me as if I walk on water!” And I do! I love and adore my wife!

Next time we get together, we’ll discuss how to witness? What are the nuts and bolts of it all? I think you’ll be amazed at how easy it really is to do!

Until then, remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

Omar Miranda
1 Corinthians 6: 9-11

Accountability 101: Part II

2008-06-12T20:19:00.000-04:00

Last time, I discussed the importance of being in an accountability relationship. We also discussed the four essentials of picking the right person to keep us sharp. Let’s quickly review: First and most importantly, you must pick somebody who has a close, personal, and intimate connection with the Lord Jesus Christ. Second, pick somebody who you get along with. Pick somebody who you enjoy hanging out with and who has a lot of the same interests and hobbies as you. Thirdly, try to pick somebody who has at least been an addict; preferably with sex and/or porn. It truly takes an addict to understand an addict. And lastly, your accountability partner needs to be the same sex as you; the issues that you will be discussing will be deeply personal in nature and this sort of interaction—if shared with a member of the opposite sex--can lead to some problems between yourself and that person.

Now that we’ve reviewed, let’s talk about some more specifics to staying sharp. There are many different issues to consider after you’ve chosen your accountability partner. The 4 most important ones are: who, what, when & where; or as I like to call them: the four W’s—I know, I know, it’s not the most catchy title, but it’s straightforward and it helps me remember.

Anyhow, first the “who:” just you and your accountability partner—that was easy. No, seriously, as I mentioned before, you at least need two people, but as you experience more honesty and victory over your addiction, you can expand it to others. There truly is strength in numbers. Next, “what,” there are several things you can talk about do to start out, the best is to be straightforward, you can ask each other—after a little small talk about, you know, whatever, you’re both interested in—“how are you doing?” I’m going to include 10 questions that I wrote specific to myself, but that research shows that if people aren’t consistent with these areas, they are more apt to fall back into their previous addiction. Here they are in order of importance:
Are you spending time daily reading your Bible and praying? 2. Are you serving the Lord with gladness? If not, what are you doing to refill it? 3. Are there any areas that you've been teaching or proclaiming something that you're not living? Is there anything you've been doing or not doing that you would not want others to know? 4. Are you faking it? Are you leaving a better impression on others than is honestly true? 5. Are there any areas of your life where you're not obeying what you know God wants you to do? Do you have a secret cherished sin? Is there anything you need to repent of? 6. Is your heart tender and responsive to the Lord? Can you hear His still small voice? 7. This week, have you been in contact with anything in the following mediums that was in any way questionable? T.V., Movies, Internet, Music, Reading Material 8. How is your relationship with your wife or significant other? Have you been spending at least 1 hour a day with that person? Have you had a date with that person this week? 9. How is your relationship with your children? Have you been spending at least 1 hour a day with them? 10. How has your self-care been? At least 7 hours of sleep? Exercising at least 30 minutes a day? Drinking at least 64 ounces of H2O daily? Getting at least 30 minutes of fresh air, sunlight, and moderate to vigorous exercise a day? Nutrition? 1 Hour of “me” time daily?
That takes care of the “what,” next comes the “when.” There are many different meeting “schedules.” At a minimum, you need to be meeting at least once a week. In November of 1999, when I was first learning to be clean and sober, I was speaking with my accountability partner several times a day…thank goodness I don’t do that anymore, but hey, it got me through. The bottom line is: when you’re getting started, you’re mantra needs to be “whatever it takes to gain victory!” Now, 9 years later, I still speak with my accountability partners--I have two of them—1 time a week, but if it’s been a particularly stressful week, then I make sure I call them two twice a week, remember, whatever it takes to gain victory!
Lastly, we get to the “where.” Well, ideally, when you’re first starting out on your lifelong road to recovery, it’s best to meet in person if you can. Any place will do just fine. A parking lot, a restaurant—although the latter can get kind of pricey if you’re meeting several times a day. The bottom line is anywhere where you can talk face-to-face with some degree of privacy is best. As you gain sobriety and confidence, you can begin meeting via phone, web-cam and e-mail/IM, but I would strongly recommend meeting face-to-face if you’re just starting out. You may ask “Omar, why do I have to meet face-to-face? It’s so difficult to look somebody in the eyes and speak to them about this issue.” Exactly! It is difficult to look somebody in the eyeballs and speak with them…that’s all the more reason to do it. Don’t you understand? Everything that you as an addict have been doing has been in private. The devil knows that you’ve been doing it in private, that’s exactly WHY you have to see somebody face-to-face! There are at least two really great reasons for a real-life meeting and here they are: 1. it teaches you how to really relate socially and appropriately to somebody else 2. it’s more difficult to lie to somebody to their face
I hope this information and tips have been helpful to you. Let me pull a “Columbo” (all you die hard fans know what I’m referring to) and let you know “oh, by the way,” you understand that this will be a lifelong commitment and struggle. I am not dissing the power of God; you know that my favorite passage of scripture in the Bible is 1 Cor. 6: 9-11. It boldly reminds us that we USED to be sexual sinners, but now we are clean in God’s holy wash cycle! Read it, it’s an awesome passage! The power of God can and does clean us, empowers us to make different and right decisions, and lastly, gives us the power to make positive and lasting life changes, BUT we must make the conscious decision to use the power! God cannot take away your sex drive because ultimately, it is a drive for Him! But He will help you manage it in a healthy way! Praise God! Well, that’s a topic for a whole different entry.

Anyhow, I hope this accountability primer has been helpful in helping you begin the road to clean livin’

Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Cor. 6: 9-11
Omar Miranda

Are You Sharp or Dull?

2008-05-27T17:16:00.000-04:00

My street name used to be “Karate Man.” Many years—and many pounds—ago I used to take and teach martial arts; that’s right, karate was my thing! I used to look like Jackie Chan or Jet Li…now I look more like the Michelin Man.

Out of all the things I learned and taught I most enjoyed learning how to use a katana, otherwise known as a samurai or ninja sword. This was a long, strong, light and slightly upwardly curved sword. This weapon was mastered—in both making and using--by the Japanese people. By the way, if you haven’t seen the movie The Last Samurai, you’ve really got to watch it; it’s incredible.

But I digress; anyhow, probably the most important thing that I learned was this: for your sword to take care of you, you’ve got to take care of your sword. If someone was neglectful and didn’t take care of their sword on a regular and consistent basis when they most needed it, it would fail them!

So what was involved in taking care of your sword? Only three things really: first and most importantly, you had to keep your blade clean, oiled and sharpened/polished. Secondly, you had to keep your scabbard (the long wooden thingy that holds the sword when it’s not being used) clean and oiled, and lastly, you had to keep your handle/grip clean and woven tightly. If not, well, the results could be deadly—for you.

Out of those three things, today I want to focus on keeping the blade clean. Now honestly, you could get away with slacking on the upkeep of the grip and the scabbard, but taking care of the blade was indispensable. During training—and battle, the blade would likely chip, nick, spur by getting fingerprints, body oils such as sweat, saliva and blood, dirt, bone, flesh and wood on it. Interestingly enough, a lot of body armor was made of veneered pieces of wood attached to some sort of chain male by metal rings, thus in order to break through armor, people learned to break boards with their hands, feet, and other parts of their body, thus that’s why they teach that in Karate today—I know, I know, I’m a treasure trove of useless information. One day I’m going to clean up on Jeopardy. But I digress—again.

Anyhow, periodically during the actual battle and most definitely after all was said and done, the blade needed to be cleaned and sharpened/polished. There was only one method to sharpen—technically, it’s called “polishing” the blade: it is to use a sharpening stone. This sharpening stone had a heavy metallic content. In effect, you are using metal to sharpen metal. The quality, safety, and efficiency of your blade really depended on two things: first, the quality of your polishing stone and secondly, the knowledge and expertise of the person doing the sharpening. Poor quality and poor workmanship equaled a poor quality blade; many times this warped the blade even worse and caused rust and other problems with the blade. No, if you cared anything about the health of the blade and in turn your life, you would choose the best quality stone and the most skilled craftsman!

What in the world does this have anything to do with sex and porn addiction? Well, I’ll tell you, other than admitting to God you have an addiction (confession), apologizing to God for your behavior, asking Him for forgiveness, and stopping the sin (repentance), the only way for you to remain healthy, clean and sober is for you to have accountability: regular, honest, intimate and intentional connection and interaction with somebody who loves and accepts you, but loves you enough to give you tough love and help keep you on the right track.

Whether you succeed or fail in your recovery will depend largely upon the person you pick for accountability. Understand that no one, NO ONE gets out of the quicksand of sex and porn addiction without the assistance of at least one flesh-and-blood accountability partner! I didn’t do it, I can’t continue to do it, and neither can you. The Bible definitely has a lot to say about this issue of accountability, but I will share just one verse that cuts like a knife (no pun intended), here it is: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27: 17. We understand this language because we use these terms every day don’t we? “Man, she’s sharp! I want to be on her team,” or the opposite of that: “whoa, he is so dull! I could barely stay awake, much less be interested, in what he was talking about?”

Did you catch the importance and the implications of this verse? Remember what I said? If you care anything about your recovery, health and welfare, and want to give yourself the best chance for healing, you will pick the best quality “iron” to sharpen you! If you do not, you will not be successful and you will not be healed, but will become even more chipped, nicked, warped and rusted. But how do you do that? Well, there are four qualifications for picking an appropriate accountability partner. Here they are in order of importance. First and most importantly, you must pick somebody who has a close, personal, and intimate connection with the Lord Jesus Christ; somebody who you see the power and grace of God’s Holy Spirit working in their life. Second, pick somebody who you get along with. Have you ever heard the term “he rubs me the wrong way?” I think it’s interesting that you can take a high quality polishing stone and rub the sword blade against the grain and cause the same damage as if you were using a stone of poor quality! Pick somebody who you enjoy hanging out with and who has a lot of the same interests and hobbies as you. Thirdly, it really makes a world of difference if that person has at least been an addict; preferably with sex and/or porn. It truly takes an addict to understand an addict. And lastly, your accountability partner needs to be the same sex as you; the issues that you will be discussing will be deeply personal in nature and this sort of interaction—if shared with a member of the opposite sex--can lead to some problems between yourself and that person. Furthermore, if you are married it can be emotionally dangerous to be sharing that sort of information with another person of the opposite sex who isn’t your spouse.

There is so much more that is involved. I know you have a lot of questions; questions like “How often do we meet?” and “what do we talk about?” In my next installment, I will discuss all of this information. I’ll even share my own accountability questions that my accountability partners use to keep me “sharp.”

It is important to prepare for weakness in times of strength. One last thing: sharpening is a very violent process, pieces of metal and other debris fly everywhere, but if the stone doesn’t make enough appropriate contact with the blade, that stone can’t do it’s job, which is to take off every imperfection from the blade, reshape it, and make it smooth and strong, so then when it comes time for battle--and trust me, if you’re a recovering addict, there will be numerous times throughout your day that you will have to do battle—you will be able to withstand the blows and thrusts of your thoughts, your surroundings, your culture and Satan. You will be able to stand strong and pure for God, for yourself, for your family, and for others!

“Wow, Omar,” you say, “that’s a lot of information, I’m overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start?” Well you start with a simple prayer to God for wisdom and discernment in helping you to choose your right accountability partner. You only need one to get you started. Which person will you choose; a sharp or a dull person? One who is most like you or one who rubs you the wrong way? I pray that now that you have the information, you will make a decision and run with it. Right or wrong, just do it and get the process started. I promise you, your “blade” will never be the same!

God bless you in the beginning of the new and healthy you!

Remember, stay connected with God, be honest with & take care of yourself, and be accountable to others!

1 Corinthians 6: 9-11,Omar Miranda

A Rude Awakening!

2008-05-27T17:05:00.000-04:00

“A Rude Awakening”

By: Omar Miranda

May 16, 2008

“Mr. Miranda, help me please…” I sat listening to a voicemail from a frazzled and terrified mom who had on the previous night busted her 6th grade daughter for looking at gay porn—both guys and girls—and for having an “inappropriate” Myspace page. After calling the mom back and speaking with her, I shared some basic information with her concerning the addictive properties of pornography, a little about my story (I’m a recovering addict—since 1999) and some suggestions for internet safety.

Mom was speechless! I had to make sure that she didn’t have a coronary right there on the spot. “Hello, hello,” I urgently called into the phone.” “I’m here,” the mom’s disbelieving reply came over the line. During our talk she cycled through a bunch of different emotions: disbelief, anger, frustration, fear, terror…and then back to anger—okay, she stayed at anger and frustration for a lot of the time. Mom said “I thought I knew my little girl…I mean, you hear about this kind of stuff happening to people who are crappy parents, but me and my husband are great parents,” and they really were. But staying on top of a teenager’s ever changing cultural and moral landscape is a lot like a salmon swimming up a waterfall: if you stop for just one second you go backwards--and the landing can be quite painful!

Once I began to delve a little further I realized that my student’s father looked at porn on a regular basis and you can fool and fool, but you can’t kid a kid. Kids know their parents habits and ultimately their character. I reminded mom that both habits and character are caught not taught and if they wanted their daughter to stop looking at porn, it was going to have to start with dad.

I also informed mom that she and her husband needed to begin really spending time with their daughter and getting to know her. Mom admitted that the family was really busy—the word she used was “fractured;” I thought that her choice of words was interesting for two reasons: 1. both she and her husband worked in the medical field and 2. this was an accurate yet sad descriptor of individuals, families, communities and our culture as a whole: fractured, we are broken!

Mom went on to admit that when her husband came home from a hard shift, he would disappear into his “man cave” for hours at a time “playing on his computer and the internet.” Mom and daughter were left all alone to fend for themselves. Mom went on to tell the oh-so-familiar story of a lack of intimate sexual or spiritual relationship with her husband and how that lack of intimacy was mirrored in her and her husband’s relationship—or lack thereof—with their daughter. I could only assume that a large portion or possibly all of the time, this father was looking at porn. He was looking for healing, for intimacy, but it would never be found there.

Speaking with the student confirmed the same story. The student told me that she rarely saw her father when he got home and when he spoke with her it was only about “safe stuff like school and my grades and stuff…never about who I am or what I like to do…or about what I can’t do.” This family was broken! How could we ever begin to put the pieces back together?

Getting to Know You
In my almost 18 years of experience in dealing with teens and families as both a Christian Counselor and as a middle and high school counselor, I’ve been asked the same question by parents, teachers, youth workers and anybody who just wants to get to know teens better: “Omar, how can I get to know my teen better?” And here again was this mother asking me the same thing. She said, “Mr. Miranda, I know you told me to get to know my daughter, but how do I do it? What do I say or don’t say?”

I’ve found that if I ask 5 questions, I can usually get to know what type of issues that teen is dealing with, the friends he/she spends time with and generally open the door to what’s going on in their life. These are the questions I told that mom and dad to ask their daughter and start the long and difficult road to healing the brokenness that they were all experiencing. Here are the questions in no particular order:

1. Tell me your favorite 3 video games you have played or are playing?
2. Tell me your 3 favorite bands/songs you are listening to?
3. Tell me your 3 favorite web-sites you have frequented?
4. Tell me about 3 favorite shows you are watching on the T.V.?
5. Do you have a myspace, facebook or other social networking site (SNS) page?
A. Can you tell me about it?
B. Can you give me your address?

Then when you have all that information, go surfing on the internet and prepare to be amazed at how much you learn! You might also be amazed at how much closer you and your teen are. If you want to dig deeper, ask your teen these questions once a week, then follow-up with questions like: “why do you like to listen/watch this…?” Get ready for some honesty! Remember, if you don’t want to truly know the answer, don’t ask the question.

Both the mom and the daughter agreed to spend time together every week learning more about each other and drawing closer together to each other. The mother also promised to confront her husband about his excessive and harmful computer habits. After the conversations I felt tired.
This interaction had taken a lot out of me, but it was a good tired because I knew that I had just expended energy in teaching others to heal their broken selves, their relationships and their families. As the conversation was ending the mother, clearly exhausted from the emotional energy expended during our conversation said, “you know Mr. Miranda, I don’t understand why somebody doesn’t educate people about this issue of pornography and how it affects individuals and families?!”

I smiled and laughed out loud, she laughed and asked “what’s so funny?” I replied, “People don’t get, because they don’t ask! You just received an education. You made yourself vulnerable, you asked for what you needed and got the support and information that you needed, didn’t you? Sometimes we just have to be real with one another before we can truly begin to heal…be real to heal (James 5:16). I like the sound of that,” I said, she replied “yeah, it’s real catchy; maybe you could put it on a t-shirt and be a millionaire?” I thought to myself, you know sometimes our interactions with each other need to be like one big group counseling session where we love, accept and support one another. (Gal. 6: 1-10). But a lot of times they are like a bunch of sharks in a feeding frenzy—the moment they sense blood in the water, they go crazy and begin devouring one another! The bible actually says something about that. It says that our highest goal should be to love and serve one another, not to devour one another. (Gal. 5: 13-15).

I gave mom some more resource information and encouraged her to build up her support system, to be honest with others, and to keep at it. I yawned, stretched and rubbed my eyes as I hung up the phone. I knew that this family was on the right path: the path to healing.